Chapter 7

Theres lots of strong language and lemons in my story, please dont read if you are easily offended!

I do not own anything, all things Twilight belong to Stephenie Myers.

Chapter 7
A Bella swan Obsession!

I woke with the feeling that I had just had the best nights sleep in ages. I was so comfy and warm that I didn’t want to break the spell by opening my eyes. I sighed and opened my eyelids to an angel beside me.
“Good morning sleepy head!” Edward joked.

“Hello you!” I smiled and stretched like a contented kitten.
I clocked that I was in my bed and not on the sofa where I had fallen asleep. Edward saw the look, “I figured you would be more comfortable lying down.”
“And you managed to move me without disturbing me?” I was impressed!
He waved his arms and hands around in a mystical kind of way.
“Vampire!” He said with that devastating smile on his face.
He leant forward to kiss me, and I jumped to the other side of the bed.
“Nooooo!” I yelped at him.
Edward looked confused and a bit wounded, wrongly interpreting my move away from him as a move away from his statement of ‘vampire’.

“Morning breath!” I reluctantly admitted.
Edward laughed softly; the sound was like an opus, so many tones to it that I got lost in the sheer beauty of it.
“Believe me there’s no hint of morning breath, you always smell good to me…the problem is you smell too good!” a shadow of doubt flashed across his face which made my heart ache for him.
After I had showered and got myself presentable and thoroughly scrubbed my teeth! I went out to the kitchen and was met by Edward brandishing a mug of something at me.
“I’m not sure its going to be drinkable!” he warned as I put the hot liquid to my lips.
“As I don’t drink it myself its hard to judge if what I have put in it is ok!” I took a sip from the cup and was met by the quite passable taste of a good old British cuppa!
“It’s lovely thank you.” I answered gratefully.
I thought you would prefer tea to coffee as that seems to be your drink of choice.”
“Mm! reminds me of home”
“You don’t talk about your home much.” Edward said, “Hardly at all really.”
“Not much to tell.” I evaded him.
“Nice try Mackenzie May Richardson, I can wait, till you feel you can tell me.”
I walked to the window to look out on the meadow; it was a lifetime away from the view from my flat back in England.
He was instantly beside me. “What’s wrong Mackenzie? Have I said something to upset you?”
“No, it’s nothing, im just thinking …that I don’t deserve to have you in my life, you should be here with someone else.” Under my breath I mumbled Bella.
I thought I had said it so quietly, but I had forgotten the vampire sense of hearing!
“What is it with you and this obsession you have with Isabella Swan?” Edward asked. My heart started to race at the sound of Bella’s name from his lips. Like the act of him saying it would make her appear from out of the ether and send me tumbling back to a world and a life that didn’t have Edward in it.
“I’m not obsessed, I just feel like I am standing in her shoes somehow.” It hurt to lie to Edward but I knew that I couldn’t tell him the truth, I couldn’t tell him because I wasn’t sure what the truth was anymore.
Still feeling 100% sure that I needed to get back home; I hadn’t given up on my plan to make that happen. Even if it ripped my heart from my chest to even contemplate it.
We spent the remainder of the weekend together; it was so easy being with him. Charlie must have realised that I had a visitor as we didn’t see him either.
Most of the time we just sat looking at each other, or just chatting about non-sensical things.

‘Ok I admit it very mushy and Jane Austen, but I bet you would do the exact same thing if it were you!!’

The next week at school was very different from the last. As I went out to get in the truck on Monday morning; Edward who had only left me a matter of an hour earlier was waiting for me in his car to take me to school.
We pulled up into the parking lot and you could hear the collective gasp of the rest of the people around. Edward grabbed my hand and with a huge smile on his face marched me past all of them, including his brothers and sisters, who were stood by Emmett’s 4x4. The boys looked on without much emotion, Alice of course had a huge grin on her face, Rosalie looked like she was planning the different ways to mutilate and dismember me!
I smiled at them all as we walked past and when we were clear of them, Edward squeezed my hand, I looked at him and he in turn looked surprised.
“I’m sorry about that, Rosalie will come round.” He said it like he was hoping it would be the case rather than with any great conviction!
“It’s ok, I can deal with it; it doesn’t bother me.” I assured him as I stroked my thumb on his hand.
Edwards’s eyebrows pulled down slightly, “You’re really not scared are you”
“No, I’m not scared of them, or you…before you add that! I just know people, and no matter what Rosalie’s feelings are about me, she loves you and wont do anything to hurt you…Plus I don’t see that happening anyway, unless my spidey senses are way off!”
“Argh, I see, I forgot about your ‘spidey senses’!” Edward stopped walking and faced me. “And what are they telling you now Ms Richardson?” He asked leaning forwards so that his mouth was nearly touching mine.
“They are telling me that we had better get a move on or else I am in serious danger of trying to get down and dirty with you again and not in private like before but in the middle of the parking lot! You definitely don’t want that to happen!”
“Hmm, perhaps we had better get to class then.” He had a smile on his face as he started walking again.
“You’re wrong though,” he was smiling widely now.
“I am?”
“Yes you are, because I definitely WOULD like that to happen, just not in full view of the school faculty!”
It was my turn to stop and face him; both my legs were like jelly, almost unable to work out how to make me remain upright.
“…I would like it to happen, but it’s just not possible Mackenzie I’m sorry. You’re too breakable. No matter how much I want you.” He clarified wistfully.
I couldn’t stop my bottom lip from pouting.

‘Oh my God, how old was I? Pouting, I mean really!’

I slapped myself mentally and put the lip away! We walked to class though I couldn’t tell you what class I went to!
I was wondering about asking Charlie if he would be speaking to Bella again soon and if I would get away with asking to speak to her. I made a mental note to ask Charlie when he got home from work.
I reluctantly said a temporary goodbye to Edward for my Gym class and went and changed with the other girls. I gravitated towards Angela; she smiled a warm welcoming smile as I dropped my stuff down on the bench next to her.
“Angela, what’s Bella like?” I wanted to get an insight on the girl; everyone else seemed to not give any details of her.
“She’s nice, I like her a lot.” Angela was always so loyal, it was just one of her many great qualities.
“But what’s she like? Is she loud, quiet?” I wanted to know something personal about her, not just blanket statements.
“Well, she’s just like everyone else really, quite quiet and keeps her self to herself. She couldn’t wait to get out of Forks though, she said she had itchy feet and needed to see the world. I guess that’s why she signed up for the exchange program.”
I nodded understanding what would drive someone to want to travel.
“Did her and Edward spend much time together?” Trying to hide my intense interest and failing!
“Spend time together?” Angela asked me confused.
“Yeah, like did they hang out together a lot?”
“Mackenzie, they never really spoke to each other, well no more than any of us spoke to any of the Cullen’s, until you arrived that is!”
By the way that Angela was looking at me I gathered that she thought I had lost my mind or something. I must have looked unconvinced.
“Kenzie, no one would have dared talk to and or associate with any of the Cullen’s before you came to school. You kind of set the standard!” She said as a way of explanation.
“Mm, maybe.” I murmured.
Angela looked worried in case she had something wrong, but I quickly assured her that it was fine, I just didn’t understand why no one had actually bothered to get to know the Cullen’s before? Angela just shrugged her shoulders. “No one was brave enough. They seemed to want to stay apart from everyone” She said simply, “ That was until you exploded into Edwards life. The rest of us perhaps were too worried I guess. Not something you’re afflicted with though I would imagine.” Angela laughed like she had said something funny.
“What? You don’t think I get scared?” I asked as we walked into the gym together.
Angela seemed doubtful. “Well I don’t know Mackenzie, you don’t seem like you would be scared of anything or anyone. You seem like a lioness, ready to stand up to any injustice and do what’s right.”
I smiled a bit wistfully at her as we joined the warm up.
If only that were the case, I thought to myself.
The rest of my lessons went off without me being able to further my research on Bella Swan!
I didn’t ask Edward about her again, as he already thought I had an unhealthy obsession with the girl.
As Edward dropped me back home after school he told me that he would be going hunting with his family. I couldn’t stop the flash of worry cross my face, and Edward had seen it all too easily.
“Actually,” he said. “Perhaps I won’t go, I can’t be bothered.” He lied!
He didn’t fool me and I immediately felt selfish.
“Please go Edward; you haven’t left my side for a week and you must be hungry, I can see by your eyes that you are.” He was about to disagree and argue with me.
“Plus I owe Charlie a meal and it will give me some time to do some human stuff!”
At that Edward agreed. “If you’re sure?”
“I’m sure, but please all of you be careful. I can’t bare the thought of any of you getting hurt.”
Edward hugged me fiercely to him and I hugged him as fiercely back. His lips found mine and they were not as gentle or as restrained as they usually were. A great fire lit in my stomach as I pulled myself closer to him. I felt and tasted the hot sweet nectar of Edward’s venom flush his mouth and then flood my tongue. I wondered briefly why venom seemed harmless if ingested, but the thought was soon washed away as the full force of my need for Edward hit me, making my knees buckle which in turn made me cling all the more to him. Edward gave a groan and it was the most erotic sound I had ever heard. I gasped into his open mouth as his lips finally withdrew from mine ever so slightly.
He disengaged my arms and I moved away fractionally from him. I looked up to his face expecting to see the familiar amusement coupled with a martyred expression.
What was in Edwards eyes was neither of these. I saw his dark eyes deep with need and hooded with passion. It was how I knew my own eyes would look to him. Both our chests were raking in deep lungfuls of air, mine out of necessity, and his out of habit. We stood as we were for what seemed like ages until both our breathing had returned to some form of normality.
Edward lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my fingers lightly. “See you in the morning, call me if you need anything, or call Alice as she is nearer.” He said huskily.
“Be careful.” I said to his disappearing back as he ran to his car and was gone with a wave of his beautiful hand.
I dumped my stuff and set about cooking something for tea. I was going to make something simple but tasty. So when I saw Charlie’s cruiser pull into the lane, I gathered up everything I needed and went on over.
“Hey Charlie.” I called to him as he was opening his door.
“Hi Mackenzie, how are you? Not seen you for a bit!” I felt the flush hit my cheeks before I could answer.
“Yep, I’ve been busy.” I said lamely.
“Yes I saw how busy you were, parked outside earlier!” he added in a friendly way.
Feeling like it was my own father that had just busted me; I quickly tried to distract Charlie with the mention of food!
“Have you eaten yet Charlie? Cos if not I made something, if you want it? Or you can keep it and have it warmed up tomorrow if you’re busy?”
“Nope Kenze, my diary is clear for tonight! So come on in.”
I went into Charlie’s kitchen and it was pleasantly familiar to me and we fell easily into our previous routine.
I passed Charlie a beer and I noticed how tired he looked.
“Busy day at the office?” I asked.
“You could say that, there have been another 3 unexplained deaths just outside of Seattle and who ever is doing it seems to be heading in this direction.”
Charlie pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do me a favour Kenze; don’t go to Seattle at the moment, not till we’ve caught whose doing this.”
“OK Charlie.” I agreed, my mind not really on what he was saying.
I hurried back out to the kitchen, with a cold feeling of dread numbing me to everything else.
I dished up dinner and was once again glad that Charlie liked to watch the TV whilst he ate, and didn’t require me to make small talk. I managed to wash up after and excused myself to make a call.
Outside of Charlie’s house I went through my phonebook till I found the number I was looking for.
It rang once before Alice’s sing song voice answered.
“Hello Mackenzie!”

Damn she was good!

“Alice, have you heard the news?” I demanded without any preamble.
Not waiting for her to answer. “Did they go anywhere near Seattle?” My voice raising a couple of octaves.
Alice’s calm reply didn’t reassure me, it only served to aggravate me. “Calm down Mackenzie, the boys are fine. There’s nothing out there that any of them need to fear, even in Seattle!” She didn’t mean to put any emphasis on the even in Seattle part, but she did.
“You know who or what it is that’s killing all those people don’t you?” I demanded, already knowing the answer.
There was the slightest of pauses. “I’m sorry Mackenzie; I’ve got to go… I’ll call you if there are any problems I promise.” And she abruptly hung up.
The phone call with Alice had done nothing to hush the creeping feeling of worry that was progressively making its self known. I was eventually able to leave Charlie’s house. All thoughts of talking to Bella had vanished as soon as I had heard about the encroaching danger. I hugged him briefly and adjusted my bag as I swiftly ran along the path that would take me to the cabin.
I dumped my bag and grabbed the truck keys and I was on the lane to the main road before my phone rang. I fumbled answering it. “Hello?” I screeched down the line.
“Hi Mackenzie, its Mike.”
“Who?” I asked none the wiser.
“Mike, Mike Newton. From school!”
“O right sorry Mike, you’ve caught me at a bit of an awkward time.” I explained. “Can we do this another time?” I asked, desperate to put the phone down and concentrate on driving as fast as I could to Edwards house and to Alice.
“Well, I guess so.” He sounded gloomy.
“Great, thanks Mike. Speak to you soon.” I closed my phone before he had a chance to say anything else and I slammed my foot on the trucks gas pedal and spun the tyres of the ancient vehicle as I hit the tarmac.
I reached Edwards house in record time. Alice was waiting for me on the drive as I sped in.
“Mackenzie please calm down Edward and the boys are fine, I would have seen if they weren’t. In fact they are having a very good time, at least Emette and Jasper are, Edward is trying to hurry to get back to you.”
I let Alice lead me indoors and we were met in the hall by Esme and Carlisle.
Esme immediately wrapped her cool arms around me and cooed at me in a motherly fashion.
“Why don’t you stay here and wait for Edward.” Carlisle suggested. I gratefully accepted and let Esme lead me into the living area and sit me down on the sofa with her arms still in place.
I struggled to stay awake for as long as I could, but the lyrical tone of the remaining gathered Cullens talking quietly, soon soothed me enough that my eyelids became heavy over my eyes. Esme moved slightly and I found myself comfortably laid down with my head resting on her legs. Someone covered me with a blanket that was so soft and smelt of vanilla and I gave in to the urge to sleep for just a few minutes.
I opened my eyes soon after and realised that someone must have moved me. We were back in the meadow behind the cabin. Relief swam over me as I turned towards the faintest of sounds and saw Edward. My breath stuck in my throat as I took in just how perfect he was. The rest of his family walked out of the trees and they all were so glorious, so not of this world. My heart nearly burst with the sight of their beauty. I smiled and waved to them but they hadn’t seen me. I called out to Edward and he looked straight through me. Something wasn’t right, had he discovered what I knew already? Did he realise that there was no possible way that we could be together and that he was far too good for me and that I really didn’t deserve him as I had lied to him and not told the truth about me. I tried calling again, desperation in my voice creeping in now, panic at the thought that I had lost him. All the while the voice in my head was screaming at me ‘Not yours to loose’

I searched around in panic, hoping to get some idea of how to stop him from walking past me without a second glance, when my eyes caught site of something out in the tree line. It made me uneasy; instead of following Edward I took a step toward the dark shape off in the shadows. Instinct was trying to force my legs to run away as far and as fast as I could in the other direction, but I knew somehow that whatever was in those woods was after Edward and his family, and that it wanted desperately to hurt them. My only thought was in buying Edward some time. Perhaps I could redeem myself that way?
I turned briefly to see where Edward was and then quickly back to where the shadow had been.
I saw them too late. I screamed as loud as I could to warn Edward but it wasn’t enough. The red eyed vampire had leapt across him and slashed at his throat before he had a chance to register my scream. My feet were pinned to the spot as I witnessed the carnage.
The shock in Edwards dimming eyes as he saw his mother and father caught by 5 more red eyed vampires. They didn’t stand a chance, there were too many of them. I sank to my knees great sobs of despair breaking free from my throat.
NO, take me, don’t you leave me here alone, don’t leave me, I wont be alone, NO!
“Mackenzie, Ssh, sweetheart, its ok im here, im home. Please don’t cry.”
My eyes flew open, my cheeks damp from the tears. I saw Edward and I threw my arms around him. Great tearing sobs escaping me. Edward held me tightly all the time murmuring in that soft voice. I couldn’t hear individual words, but just hearing him made me feel better.
When I had calmed down enough to talk; Edward asked. “You ok now?”
I nodded not trusting my voice just yet.
“Bad dream?” Edward surmised.
I nodded again, pulling myself in closer to him. I took a moment to look around the room and noticed that we were alone. The others must have discreetly removed themselves.
“You had us pretty worried there.” Edward said.
“I’m sorry Edward I’ve done it again haven’t I.”
“Done what Mackenzie? Worried about me? I can’t even tell you how wonderful it is to have you care enough about me to be worried about me, though we are going to have to seriously talk about a few things for the future.”
I didn’t really understand what he was talking about, so just nodded and pulled myself even closer to him.
“Are you going to tell me what you dreamt about?” he asked delicately.
“I can’t remember.” I lied. Edward looked sceptical but didn’t force the issue.
“Alice was so worried when you started screaming in your sleep that she phoned me and explained what had happened, so I got back here as quick as I could.” His beautiful face looked tense.
“I,m sorry I left you. I wish that you had said how much you didn’t want me to go.”
“Its fine Edward, I’m fine, it was just a silly dream and just a silly me, I’ve made a terrible fuss about nothing, I’m such a drama queen.” I added crossly.
“Why were you calling out Isabella Swans name again?” he asked.
I sucked in a slight breath, and tried to recall if Bella had been in my dream. “I have no idea!” I answered truthfully.

Chapter 6

Theres lots of strong language and lemons in my story, please dont read if you are easily offended!

I do not own anything, all things Twilight belong to Stephenie Myers.

Chapter 6
This may sound crazy…


I woke from my totally restless night feeling uncertain of any future action. I had waited in the bathroom, after Edwards rejection of me, for what seemed like hours until I heard Charlie come home. I had shouted down to him and he had come upstairs as I knew he would. Successfully stopping any chance of Edward staying around to talk to me.

I asked about his day and we chatted easily. I explained to him that I would need to go and retrieve Bella’s truck and would arrange it in the morning. I let Charlie know that I was going to meet Jake and Billy the next day and Charlie said that he would run me over there as he wanted to see Billy about something. I had stayed up watching football with Charlie until late, happy that he was a man of few words and didn’t expect or want me to talk to him all the time

. The rest of my night had been spent securing the window in the bedroom tightly, shutting the curtains and making sure that I had the bedroom door wide open so that any sound would be heard by Charlie.

I had slept fitfully, images of Edward and all the Cullen’s were flitting through my sub-conscious. The disturbing thing was that what ever decision I made in my dream, they always ended in some terrible way for Edward or one of the other Cullen’s or even all of them. It was me who usually caused this by pushing Edward to continue on this road with me, him getting pushed too far by my constant attempts to be with him or seduce him and ending up always with him draining my blood. I wouldn’t wake up in horror at this, I knew I deserved the gory end, what would wake me terrified was the sight of Edward being torched by robed and hooded figures, his body surrounded by flames, or Edward being ripped to shreds by a pack of huge angry wolves, tearing him apart and his beautiful face ripped beyond recognition, but not before he was forced to witness this happening to his whole family. So when I had eventually woken up it had been a blessed relief.

I knew that I wasn’t strong enough to stay close to Edward without wanting to see him, talk to him and to touch him. My body and soul was drawn to him in an inexplicable and destructive way. For both our sakes I needed to find a way home. No matter what the cost to me personally.
Charlie gave me a lift to Billy’s and I jumped out the car as I saw Jake by the garage. He looked up as I approached not able to hide the look of concern behind his eyes.

“Everything ok Kenze?” He asked me in a casual way. Though I understood that this was more than just a casual greeting.

“I’m fine Jake, thanks for asking.” Smiling at him hoping he saw my gratitude.

“Mackenzie, so you want to use the cabin?” Billy asked coming forwards with Charlie helping him across the bumps in his chair.

“Erm, if it’s ok with your friend Billy, I would love to take it on.” I agreed happily.

“Well Jakes already told you he’s agreed, so I guess these are yours.” He said smiling and handing me over a set of very old fashioned keys.

“Thank you Billy I really appreciate you sorting this for me.” I grabbed him in a hug and his face coloured but he smiled.

“You going to come in for a bit before you go?” Billy asked me.

I looked towards Jake and he nodded fractionally. “I would love to see what Jakes up to! I’m a bit of a petrol head!”

Charlie said “I’ll shout you when im going, I wont stay long.”

“Thanks Charlie, I’m in no rush.” I turned and followed Jake back to the garage.

Confined in the small space of the garage Jake seemed even bigger than he had before when he had been to see me at the Lodge.

Before I had even got the door closed properly. “So what happened?”

Without answering his question, “I’m sorry if I worried you Jake”

“That doesn’t answer my question!” The need to be honest with Jake was at war with my need to protect Edward and his family. Edward won.

“Bella’s truck broke down, and I had to walk back to a gas station. Someone had got hurt.”


For a second Jake looked like he would make something of this, and then he seemed to change his mind and accepted my explanation.
We spent the next hour just chatting and catching up, Jake offered help to do the cabin up and I offered to feed him in return!
Jake was so easy to be around, he had such a happy attitude to everything, that you couldn’t be anything but enthusiastic around him. I liked him, and I felt that he would be someone I would be able to depend on.
When it was time to leave Charlie shouted me from the drive.
I hopped down from the work bench and hugged Jake and said I would see him at the cabin at the weekend.
His huge arms wrapped around me, not seeming at all embarrassed that he was bare chested as he took the liberty of nuzzling into my neck and risked a kiss!

“Oi!” I yelped, as I pulled away, jabbing him in his perfect ribs.
“See ya Kenze!” He said laughing.
“See you Jake!” I replied, not able to hide the humour in my voice.

In Charlie's Car I chatted madly about the cabin and what I would do with it, how I would decorate it and what I would cook for Charlie, Jake and Billy when they came for a house warming meal.
Charlie stayed quiet and just made encouraging murmurs every now and then.
I glanced sheepishly towards him, but he was looking ahead and had a slight smile touching the corners of his mouth, so I continued my excited babble until we got back to Charlie's house.

As we pulled into the drive Bella’s truck was there with new tires. I made a mental note to send a thank you note to the Cullen’s and then unable to resist, I ran ahead of Charlie towards the track that would lead me to the cabin, which was to be my new home.
Although I hadn’t seen it before I knew that it would be perfect for me.
I broke through the trees into a slight clearing, and set off to the left hand side of the meadow, was the quaintest little cabin I could have imagined.
As I got closer to it I realized that it wasn’t as small as it had first appeared and would easily have been big enough for a family. The dirt road that led to it was slightly obscured by the trees, but I could hear the traffic on the road that would take me into town if I didn’t want to cut out by Charlie's place.

The old key slipped into the door easily and the door swung open with a creak, showing its lack of recent use.
An orange coloured light filtered through the windows, and showed off the array of dancing dust particles that had been disturbed by my entrance.
The mismatched furniture was worn and loved and it looked like Billy had someone in here recently clearing things in readiness for me, as there were fresh flowers in vases on the table in the kitchen and the lounge.
There was a gentle hum from the gargantuan fridge in the kitchen. I walked around touching all the surfaces as I went. It was a way for me to feel the cabin and I relished in its warm glow.
Charlie's knock on the opened door sprang me back to reality, I skipped over and opened the door wider and pulled him in. I couldn’t disguise my pleasure and Charlie said as much, “It’s ok for you then?” He said with the faintest of grins reaching his eyes.

“It’s Perfect!” I stated resolutely.
“Are you sure you’re going to be ok out here on your own?” He asked doubtfully.
“I’ll be fine,” I reassured, “anyway, if I shouted, you could probably hear me from your house! Plus I have my phone and I promise I will call if im worried about anything.”

I reminded Charlie that I had my own house back in England and he admitted that he just found it hard to think of me older than Bella, though I obviously was.

Charlie helped me move my stuff over from the lodge, and despite his attempts to get me to stay at his house for one more night, I cried off and said I just wanted to sit in the cabin and get myself settled. So after we had had dinner Charlie walked me to the meadows edge and said goodnight.
I hugged him and thanked him for all the help.
He quickly passed it off with a wave of his hand and a call of…”See you tomorrow Kenze!”

I watched Charlie disappear back through the trees and watched as I caught site of a light being switched on in his house.
Feeling suddenly very tired I went in and put the water heater on as Charlie had shown me.
I sat down on one of the big gingham sofas and looked around; a deep sigh escaped me as I relaxed for the first time in what seemed like months. I was so comfortable that I didn’t try to stop my heavy eyelids shutting down over my eyes.

Black!

“…Keep talking to her Ruby, that’s what will bring her around, hearing someone who is familiar…”


My eyes shot open and for the briefest second I wondered where I was, I expected to find Ruby sat next to me, then I recognized the cabins interior and let out a small disappointed breath.

It had gotten cold and I was too tired so I grabbed the quilt from the bed and wrapped it around myself as I sat waiting for the dawn. My mind drifted back to the gas station and Isaac, and a flash of pity hit me when I thought what Edward and Emmett would have done to him, but this only lasted a fraction of a second. As with all things Edward, my mind screamed at me for putting him in any danger and not only him but his family as well.
I couldn’t understand why fate was turning me into this troublesome person, I had always been so self reliant and capable, now I wondered if I could tie my shoes without some sort of catastrophe?!


I spent the Sunday getting my new home how I wanted it, I had a couple of visits from Charlie and Jake also gave me a call to check that everything was ok. It felt good to have my mind fixed on something ordinary and mundane, and I took great pleasure in the simple task of cleaning house!
I didn’t hear anything from Edward.

I made dinner for me and Charlie and we had spent the evening, with me catching up on some reading and he sat watching the television.
It was getting quite late when Charlie looked at his watch and saw the time.
“Geez Kenze! I’m sorry I didn’t realize I had been here so long, I better be on my way.”
He said as he gathered up his coat.
“No worries Charlie, it’s good to have the company,” I assured him.
I watched Charlie's light go on and then shut the door. I was surprised I wasn’t more worried about being in the woods on my own, but I felt some how safe in the cabin, like nothing would be able to get me.
I tidied around and switched off the T.V and the lights as I made my way to the bedroom. I glanced out the open curtain into the meadow, the trees and meadow grass had taken on a silvery sheen with the moon glow. It was as I was about to close the curtains fully, that my eyes saw something flit through the tree line. I stuck my nose up close to the window trying to get a better look at whatever was staying conveniently out of full view.
My first hopeful thought was that it was Edward coming to see me at last. Then as quickly as that happy thought hit me, then it left twice as quickly, as I felt sure that I had burned all bridges where Edward was concerned.
.
I looked around the dark cabin trying to find my cell phone. I finally spotted it on the kitchen table, making a dash for it, I grabbed it and found Jakes number. As it dialed I ran to the kitchen and picked up the heaviest cooking pan I could find and went back to my window. Feeling somewhat ridiculous brandishing my kitchenware I looked back out to the silvery tree line not sure if I was hoping to see something again or not.
As hard as I might I didn’t see anything, or hear anything that sounded like it shouldn’t be there. My heart beat started to return to its normal rhythm and I was berating myself for again over reacting when I definitely heard something just outside the cabin.
The shriek that came from my mouth, didn’t even sound like my own voice. I squared my shoulders bracing myself for an attack.
As the door exploded inwards I swung with all my strength, acting purely on instinct. I heard the contact of the pot against something hard and heard the thud as the huge shadowy form hit the floor. Taking the advantage I moved in to deliver another blow before the shadowy form had a chance to regain their feet, when a familiar sounding moan stopped me in my tracks.
“Kenze, what are you doing? It’s me, Jake; I heard you scream, what are you trying to do? Kill me?”
“Oh my God Jake, are you ok?” I gasped falling to his side on the floor.
“Yeah im fine!” He said more good naturedly than I deserved.
I helped him up and found the switch to the lights. Jake looked sheepishly at the door that was now on the floor. I told him not to worry we could sort it out later and that I was more concerned with checking his head. He tried to pass me off but I insisted in taking a look. He eventually lowered his hand from his head to let me examine his wound.
I ran my experienced eye and hands over his head and apart from a small fading red mark there was no evidence of the huge hit I had made to his forehead. I was of course almost expecting this but from Jakes point of view I was going to need some plausible explanation.
“Look I know this may sound crazy,” he started. “But I have this genetic thing going on… it makes my skull twice as thick as everyone else’s…”
“Yeah,” I agreed, “I think I heard of it!”
Jake looked please and relieved that he thought his deception had worked.
“Yeah where the person gets massive bone growth, really quickly…”
Jake was nodding eagerly.
“…Or it could be that you have that other genetic disorder…”
Jake waited for me to finish with a genuinely curious look on his face.
“..You know...like being a wolf and all!!” I finished triumphantly.
The look on Jakes face switched from amazement, to chagrin, to being just plain pissed. He eventually managed to splutter out, “Don’t be stupid Kenze, there’s no such thing, you’ve been reading way too many books.”
“Look Jake you don’t need to explain I know all about you and the pack.”
“You know about the pack too?” He choked out.
“Look to save time Jake, just believe me when I say that I know everything!”
He still looked suspicious, but as a testament to his good nature he just said, “OK, well before we go any further let me fix your door and then we can talk!”
I nodded to him and the next half hour I spent watching Jake put his natural skills to work as he fixed my front door back expertly.
We chatted little, and when we did, we carefully avoided the subject of myths and legends.
At last the door was back in place and Jake was deposited on the sofa with a drink in hand.
“Ok Mackenzie, I think you better tell me how you seem to know so much about my err…little quirk! And don’t say you just guessed, it’s not the sort of thing anyone just guesses…ever!”

I sat for a few seconds contemplating my answer before I spoke. I desperately needed a friend here and I needed to have someone I could confide in, so I took a deep breath and started…
“This ‘Will’ sound crazy, but I’m hoping that you’re going to be good with crazy…”
I was babbling, trying to find a way of saying the un-sayable.
“Spit it out Mackenzie.” Jacob said a bit too abruptly. Taking a final deep breath I started to explain how I had come to be so aware of what was going on.
“Look whether you believe me or not is irrelevant, but I have seen what is going to happen, at least what could happen, one possible outcome and because of it I have found out about you and the Quileute clan and the fact that you turn into wolves if the need arises and that Edward and his family are vampires and they are the reason that you have all started changing.” I said the last part very fast!
Jakes expression soured at the mention of Edward.
“And you’re ok with this?” He asked in disbelief.
I didn’t answer him but continued, “I do know that there is a real danger to everyone in Forks and around the area. But I can assure you it doesn’t come from the Cullen’s.”

Jacobs’s personal feelings were at war right there on his face.
“So you’re some kind of psychic then?” He asked with a sceptical tone in his voice.
“Please Jacob, just listen, I know about Sam and what happened with Leah and Emily, how could someone from England possibly know these things Jake unless what I was saying was the truth?”

His struggle was again evident on his face and then all of a sudden it relaxed.
“Actually,” he announced, “I’m glad you know, this makes things a lot simpler. Though I’m not sure I’m happy that you seem so accepting of the bloodsucker and his family!”
“Be nice!” I chided him, glad that we were friends again.
“Plus if what you say is true, you may be able to help us with the encroaching vamp problem we’ve got?” He said, a glint in his eye showing his enthusiasm.
“Maybe,” I answered sketchily, “I know what the events should be, but there is always an element of choice which I can’t factor in.” I answered a little doubtfully. I wasn’t prepared to put someone’s life on the line because I had read a book a few times!
I wondered if Alice with her gift had the same sort of concerns I was harbouring. This thought quickly vanished as I felt sure that Alice would probably be sure about all her decisions to act or not.

I managed to steer the conversation away from all the horrors that seemed to move freely in Forks and we talked about mundane and more common things.
I don’t know when it had happened but at sometime during the night I had fallen asleep, I woke abruptly to find that the reason I had been so un-comfortably hot was that both Jacob and I were laying on the sofa and he had one huge arm behind my neck, the other thrown over my chest, the sheer weight of his muscled forearm making it uncomfortable to breath properly and the heat that radiated off of Jakes body made it feel like I was laying on an electric blanket.
“Jake,” I whispered to him, not wanting to startle him.
“Jacob, wake up, you’re squashing me!” I said a little louder this time.
Finally the jab in the ribs woke him enough that he opened his eyelids sleepily and smiled.
“Morning Kenze!” He said with a sleepy voice.
“You’re a much prettier sight to wake up to than Billy!” He said with a smug little smile on his face. Rather than releasing me, he tightened his arms around me.
“Mm, I could get used to this!” He said as he flashed his pearly white smile at me.
Feeling like a trapped rabbit I managed to wriggle my way out of his hold and jumped to the middle of the room!

Ok he’s gorgeous but BOY! He was still only 17! Anyway I had eyes for only one!



The grin he had on his face definitely had a wolfish feel about it.
Jacob got up and said somewhat reluctantly that he should go. I hugged him and thanked him and said I would call him soon. I also assured him that should I get any of my ‘mojo’ about anything that was going to happen then I would call him straight away.
I hugged him again and watched as he ran off into the trees, his beautifully formed naked torso disappearing in a second.


When I was back indoors I searched for some notepaper and a pen and then I started to frantically note down as close as I could remember the events and the timeline of everything that had and should happen in my beloved books.
As I wrote I became more aware of the differences from my ‘delusion’ to the books. Whole events seemed to have been spun on their heads and some hadn’t even occurred. Others, like Isaac, were not in the books and it got me to thinking that perhaps I had more to do with the events that took place than what I had thought of at first.
Once I had most of the major book events scribbled on my note paper, I set about writing the events as they had appeared to me. I was shocked to see the similarities and the comparisons. The thing that slapped me in the face more than anything was that I didn’t seem to be acting as I would normally! It seemed that the old self reliant, feisty and strong willed person I was, seemed to be turning into a very different weak willed and frightened person and the longer I stayed here, where ever here was, the less of me there was going to be left to go back to.

The rest of the week went by without me really noticing it. I was too busy writing my notes and I had made a resolution to be more me like in future!
I didn’t know if Edward or any of the Cullen’s were at school as I stayed away from the cafeteria and any classes that would bring me into contact with them. On Friday evening
with doing a ‘me thing’ in mind, I put on my old runners and drove to the lodge and decided to go down the cliff walkway onto the beach for a run. My breath came a little faster as I went down the steps remembering as I did the exact place I had fallen. A faint feeling of wanting to kiss the ground came over me as both feet touched the sand!
The beach was as beautiful as I remembered it from the first time I had run there.
The birds screamed noisily into the wind from their cliff side nests trying to attract a mate. They were in direct competition to the roar of the spring waves that were relentlessly rolling in onto the beach and dragging back out to sea.
I put my iPod ear buds in my ears and turned on my music and let my feet set off running to the familiar rhythm of the song that was playing.
I relaxed totally into my run, once again enjoying the feel of the gentle ache that went through my calves as the muscles reacted to the unexpected request to move!
I ran up the beach for a couple of miles then I followed a path that took me through the woods at the edge of the reservation. I found the running easy enough as the loamy surface of the woods was easy on my legs and knees.
I stopped for a breather to get my bearings and my breath and could see the main highway into town not too far in the distance.
I decided that I would follow the path back to the road and see if I could beg a lift later on from Charlie to pick up the van.
The woods in this area seemed slightly denser which was probably why I wasn’t expecting to run suddenly out into a clearing!
My pace faltered as I took in the house that was imposing itself on the surrounding countryside. It was quite easily the most amazing house I had ever seen, and I knew instinctively who the house belonged to. My heart sank!
Hoping that I hadn’t been spotted I picked up my pace and made a dash along the driveway that would bring me out on the road again.
I was almost under cover of the trees before Alice caught me. “Mackenzie! How nice of you to visit!" She sounded gleefully from behind me.
Feeling like a kid who had just been caught with their hand in the cookie jar. I turned to apologise and explain my unplanned and unexpected arrival on their doorstep, when to my horror, as I turned I saw that Alice was not the only Cullen stood there!
Thankfully Edward wasn’t among them which disappointed me as much as left me relieved. Carlisle and Esme smiled at me and asked me in. I didn’t want to appear rude but I also didn’t want to run the risk of Edward returning and finding me in his home like some mad stalker. So I declined the offer but asked for a rain check and apologised for the seventh time for the inadvertent trespass.
But Alice seemed determined for a human house guest and though Jasper smiled at me I could see that my presence was not going to help his ongoing battle for vegetarianism!
Rosalie was off hand, like I was of absolutely no consequence to her at all. But the remaining Cullen’s insisted and I allowed myself to be led in the house by an excited Alice.

I wondered how much the Cullen’s thought I knew, or knew I knew! And I wondered what Edward had told them about me if anything. I declined their offer of a drink, thinking that they probably didn’t have anything in the house that would be suitable and I wouldn’t want to put them out.
I sat surrounded by them as they just watched me!
“You have a very beautiful home Mrs Cullen” I said to Esme.
Esme smiled at me and it felt like the sun had come out to warm me. “Well thank you Mackenzie, that’s very sweet of you. It’s a kind of hobby of mine! But please call me Esme,” She said looking towards Carlisle affectionately, "We feel like we already know you so well…It’s a shame Edward isn’t here to see you.”
I smiled nervously, “well I will see him next week at school I expect.”
“I really am sorry about running on to your property.” I said to the room in general again.
I heard Rosalie mutter loud enough for me to hear, “Yeah sure you are!”
Carlisle waved it off, “It really isn’t a problem Mackenzie, and any friend of Edwards is a friend of ours. You are welcome here anytime.” He said finally giving a hard stare in Rosalie’s direction.
“Thank you, I will keep that in mind,” looking at Rosalie I continued,” So now I know where you are, I could just pop in and visit you all the time!” I clapped my hands in mock excitement. Rosalie looked like she was about to pounce on me and rip my head off at any second, but a steadying hand on her arm from Emmett calmed her and she walked off.
Feeling triumphant I turned with a smile on my face, to be met by the others still looking at me intently.

Way to go and piss off the locals Kenze, and not only that but the local vampires!

“Edwards’s right, you’re not like any of the young people we have met before.” Carlisle stated with a question in his voice.

“Probably not,” I agreed. “I guess we may have more in common than we all thought then?” I answered him.
“Maybe so Mackenzie.” Carlisle said with a hint of intrigue in his voice. He was definitely looking at me like he would like me to be his next experiment or project!

After a moment I jumped up saying that I should be going or I would be too cold to continue my run. They all stood up in that beautiful fluid motion. I thanked them and said my goodbyes.

Esme shouted after me “We’ll let Edward know you stopped by.”

Great, I thought, that’s really going to please him. I waved and then set off. I was still grumbling as I ran down the main road to town, yet another show up to add to the list of my growing Cullen faux pas. I moved off the road slightly to allow traffic to pass me more easily and it was then that I saw the car coming towards me at high speed. It stopped just past me the engine idling. I fixed my eyes on the road ahead and decided to ignore it completely!
The silver Volvo’s wheels squealed as they did a 180 turn, then proceeded to keep parallel pace with me, but the driver never let the dark tinted windows down and never said a word.

Oh Shit!

I knew I was going to regret it but I stopped and faced the stalker Volvo.
“Is there something I can help you with?” I asked the tinted windows.
Nothing!
I started running again. And again the Volvo kept perfect pace with me.
“Look I’m sorry Edward,” I said stopping and turning to face the shiny vehicle once more. “I didn’t know my run would lead me to your house, I apologise. I would never have intruded on your privacy or your families for anything.”
There was still no response from the car, so with a sigh I turned back to the road and continued on running, mumbling under my breath.
“This is so far beyond fucked up!”
“You have a very colourful pattern of speech.” His honey voice caressed me from the open Volvo window.
I stopped in my tracks and turned to face him.
“Oh so you can talk when it’s to berate my bad language then?” I hissed at him crossly.


In the moment it took me to bend to peer through his car window he was stood directly behind me, so close that I could feel him. Being away from him had not numbed me to his beauty, nor had it lessened the way my body reacted to him of its own volition. My heart was beating out its own staccato quickstep. The golden eyes that I saw in my sleep were masked and not giving anything away.
Feelings of guilt combined with hurt and just a smidgen of fright and embarrassment vied for a prominent position.
Stepping back away from Edward as casually as I could, I had the uncomfortable feeling that Edward could read every thought that was hurtling through my mind. My cheeks flushed up, hoping that Edward couldn’t see what I was thinking, as at this moment it involved us being naked!

Get a grip Mackenzie, you see naked men everyday!

Yeah not like this I didn’t!!


Taking another step away from him I turned to leave again.
“You left the Lodge.” He said a little accusingly. “You didn’t tell me you were going.”
“I didn’t realise I was supposed to report in!” I snapped back at him waspishly.
I hung my head, he didn’t deserve my censure and it was true, I hadn’t told him I was moving, I had wanted to hurt him in some small way for rejecting me. Thinking about that night made my cheeks flame red again. I dropped my eyes to the ground. In an instant Edward was stood pressing himself against me. He lifted his right hand and brushed my cheek lightly. I could feel the coolness of his body through the material of both our clothes and I was dismayed when my body had its own ideas about how to react to Edward Cullen!
I gasped in a breath and watched a smile play on the edges of Edwards’s glorious mouth.
Feeling a bit annoyed that he was playing with me again, I said, “I’ve got to go Edward, I won’t get back in time other wise.”
He raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow. “Back in time for what, Mackenzie?”

“I have things I have to do, people I have to see.” I said lamely. All the while Edward didn’t take his eyes off of me and I knew if I didn’t get away from him soon, I was going to be lost forever.
“People like Jacob Black?” He asked with that same edge to his voice. I didn’t answer him, but I couldn’t stop my cheeks flaming up as I remembered waking up in Jacobs’s arms!
“You really should stay away from me Mackenzie. I’m dangerous for you to know.”
Edward said it in a matter of fact way, not a threatening way, it made me shiver, but not for the reasons Edward was hoping!
I took a step towards him. “I’m not frightened of you Edward.” Staring straight at him.

“So what did Jacob Black have to say? Nothing good I bet?” He said.
“Why should I tell you what Jake and I have been talking about? Any way, how do you know me and Jake have been talking?” I asked him accusingly. Edward managed to look a bit embarrassed, then he opened the passenger door of the Volvo and smoothly directed me to get in.
Before I had time to protest or even think of a suitable excuse, I found myself hurtling down the road in the Volvo with Edward, whose previous charm offensive had given way to a sulky silence.
I sat trying to focus on the road ahead as it hurtled towards me. I chanced a glance in Edwards’s direction, but apart from the evident breath taking beauty, I could read nothing in his expression. It was while I was wondering what was going through his head that we came a stop. I had just clocked that we had stopped moving, when Edward was out of the car, opening my door for me. He didn’t say a word. I looked around trying to see if I recognised anywhere. We were amidst huge trees on a small lane. One I was pretty sure I hadn’t seen before.
Wordlessly Edward took me by the elbow and led me into the trees along a small pathway. Well what was really more like an animal track.
Edward dragged me through the trees for what seemed like hours, but was probably more like an hour. I had stopped trying to get him to talk to me after the first 20 minutes, and the rest of the way I spent grumbling under my breath. Eventually the dense trees started to thin out and before long he stopped abruptly and turned to face me. His eyes looked distant, like he was searching for the answers to a thousand questions.
He still didn’t say anything. I refused to turn away from his stare and I set my shoulders squarely and stared right on back.

After a few minutes of staring at him I was in serious danger of asphyxiating myself, he really did take my breath away! I dragged my eyes from his and stomped very un elegantly off into the meadow. In a thick tall patch of grass I dropped myself to the floor and lay just looking up at the sky.

It was perhaps five minutes before Edwards shadow cast over me. Without waiting to be invited he sat down beside me. I sat up and hugged my legs resting my chin on my knees. I could feel Edward’s eyes on me again, it made my skin tingle like there was something on it, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable feeling, far from it, it was like little electric shocks being let off all over my body, sending pleasure signals to my brain! My mind drifted to how it felt to kiss him. I moaned in pleasure!

Oh my god, did I do that out loud?

I chanced a quick glance out of the corners of my eyes and Edward was looking directly at me with a look that was half way between pleasure and anger, it didn’t help me decide if I had verbalised my day dream!

I looked away from him quickly.

“Tell me what you’re thinking…Please.” Edward asked of me suddenly.
We had been quiet so long that the unexpected sound of his voice made me jump.
I thought for a second, “I was wondering what you brought me up here for if you weren’t going to talk to me.”

Edward grimaced slightly, even that looked good on him!
“Mackenzie, I don’t know what to do, for the first time in a long time, I don’t have a solution to a dilemma and I am very uneasy about it.” He finished finally.

“O.K.” I answered wondering if he was going to elaborate. After a few seconds I stated. “It’s me isn’t? I’m the reason you’re not happy.” I looked at him and I saw the slight widening of his pupils that told me I was right.

“Edward, I’m selfish! I have continued to put you in a terrible dilemma and I feel so bad about that. If Bella were here, she would never have behaved as I have. It’s all so awfully wrong and none of it’s your fault, its all mine. I am sorry that I threw myself at you …again… the other night…” I could feel my face flame up as I remembered how I had behaved. I was getting into my swing and the guilt and shame was really starting to flow! “…but please don’t worry I am trying to find a way to leave and then everything will be ok again.”
“What do you mean?” In an instant, Edward had moved around in front of me. He looked intense and just a bit frightening and even more beautiful and unreal to me.

“I am trying to get home Edward. I think it will be better for everyone.” I hoped the sadness that washed over me at just the thought of leaving him didn’t show on my face. I wanted to be brave for him, he needed me to be brave for him. “I know you’re worried about your family, but you won’t need to be once I’m gone. I promise I won’t tell a soul.”

Edward looked a little wary and his next question he seemed to struggle to say, “What exactly won’t you tell a soul about Mackenzie?” He had moved impossibly closer to me and his breath was sweet tasting on my lips.
“That you’re a vampire Edward, I thought we went through all this the other night?”
I said getting testy as it was making me admit again his rejection of me and of my stupidity.

Edwards face looked awash with grief and something I didn’t recognise. I put my hand out to touch his arm and he recoiled away from me.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to... I wasn’t trying to seduce you again, I learnt my lesson believe me,” Edwards face looked more aggrieved than before.
“I just hate to see you so upset.” I finished.

“You’re trying to comfort me?” He asked incredulously? “Don’t you have any self preservation skills at all Mackenzie?” He demanded of me.
“I don’t mean to make you sad Edward, I just seem to do the wrong thing when ever I’m around you. This just isn’t me!” I was frustrated and it showed in my voice.
“Mackenzie you mean to tell me that you know what I am, what my family are, and you still went into my house, with no one knowing where you were, and you went in willingly?” He sounded like he was talking to a child.
“Well not quite willingly,” I corrected, Edwards face acknowledged my reluctance, “Alice knew I was trying to avoid you and she wasn’t going to take no for an answer. She may be little but she has an iron will.” I stated.
“You were worried about seeing me?” Edwards face was looking more confused by the second.
“Of course I was, look don’t make me spell it out.” I sulked at him.
Mackenzie I have no idea what you are talking about, that’s part of the problem, if only I knew what you were thinking…”

“Its not nice to gloat,” I whined, “I understand that you don’t like me and find me hard to be around after all the horrid things I have done, but still I’ve still got a tiny bit of pride left, in fact its probably all I have left.”
Edward was silent again. He wasn’t going to make this easy for me, I could see that now. All things considered, I supposed I deserved that.
“I didn’t want to see you after I had thrown myself at you and you had pretty much ran from me screaming.” I turned away from him my face flaming up again at the thought of it and the memory of the look on his face, the disgust and horror.
“I know you don’t want me Edward, I can never be Bella, but as soon as I can figure out why I’m here then I should be able to get home, and you won’t see me again.”
I got up needing to move away from him so that I could say what I needed to say next.
“I won’t bother you any more Edward.” As I walked away from him it felt like my limbs had become like lead and each step made my heart feel heavier in my chest. Never had I felt as desperately sad as I did just then walking away from Edward. I had taken perhaps 5 steps and in a breath he was in front of me. His arms came up and stopped me by putting gentle pressure on my shoulders.
“Please, don’t go, I can’t let you go.” He almost begged.
For a second I could see the battle running through him, protector or destroyer.
“I don’t think I can live without you.” He said softly, just loud enough for me to hear.

“What are you talking about Edward?” I demanded, confused. “It’s about as much as you can bear being in the same room with me, let alone what you’re trying to get me to believe.”
“You think I don’t want you?” He asked, forcing me to look at him. My cheeks flamed again at the memory of his rejection.
“Don’t think, know.” I answered stubbornly.
“Mackenzie I want you more than any human man could want a woman.” His eyes were so compelling I couldn’t drag mine away from his.
“But when you saved me from Isaac, that night, after in the bathroom, I seduced you, you were disgusted, I could see it in your eyes Edward, don’t try to tell me I didn’t see it.”
“Yes you saw disgust,” he snarled out.
I couldn’t help choking out the smallest of gasps.
“But it was disgust in myself Mackenzie, not you, surely you could see that? I have no right to want you as I do, as any ordinary man wants a woman” It was Edwards turn to walk away from me. I reached for him, my hand closing onto his cool porcelain like hand. He moved to pull it away but for once I held firm.
“You are in danger, from me, when ever you are near me, at the moment I am in control, but I don’t know for how long, before the monster over takes me.” Horror was evident on his faultless face.
“You talk so casually of what my family are, but you seem to have missed the one main factor in all this, What we eat.”

“You feed on animals.” I stated knowingly. “Not people.” Shaking my head.
“How can you know this?” suspicion tinting his words.

I sighed.
“You remember me saying that we were both not what we seemed?”

“Yes I remember, I didn’t understand what you meant when you said it.” He said truthfully.”
I toyed for a second on coming clean and telling him the whole thing. But I quickly gave up on that and decided to go with the same story I had told Jacob.

“I can see how things are supposed to happen.” I blurted out quickly, shutting my eyes tightly as I said it. I waited for the laughter or the disbelief and neither came. I opened one of my eyes a fraction and saw a pondering look on Edwards face. I risked opening both my eyes.
“So you can see into the future?” he asked.
“Well not exactly,” I tried to explain the limitations.
“So you can see what should be, but there is that possibility of human choice that could change the outcome of what you see? Am I getting this right?” Edward asked politely.
“But you only see what is directly on indirectly connected to you and the people you come into contact with?”
I nodded my confirmation.
“Well that makes sense, I suppose.” He admitted. “So how much about my family do you know?” he asked genuinely curious.
“Quite a lot.” I admitted, embarrassed.
“Aren’t you scared of me? You should be” he asked in an almost silent plea.
“How can I be scared of something I love?” I answered just as quietly.
Edwards’s eyes shot to look into mine, a look of what can only be called hope resting there. “But how can you love me? I’m a monster.” He stated.
I risked touching him, hoping that he wouldn’t flinch from my touch, I cupped my hands around his face. “I loved you Edward Cullen, before I ever came to Forks. My heart has always been yours. I love you. It doesn’t matter you wont love me back, but what I am is yours.”

The look of astonishment on Edwards face brought a smile to the corners of my mouth.

“I see, however you are tragically wrong about a few things…” he said.
“I am?” I asked.
“Yes, you have no idea how deep my feelings for you are. I’ve waited so long for you, but I would have waited an eternity to hear you say that you love me.” He answered. Amazement and joy mixed up in his words.
It was Edward this time that instigated the kiss. He brought his face towards me and closed his glorious golden eyes as his cool lips lightly touched my own expectant lips. He caught my top lip between his own lips and I felt heat move outwards from his mouth to my mouth, and those little electric shocks of pleasure from earlier erupted in a profusion of sensory ecstasy. I tried to be good and keep my hands by my sides, but my body screamed out to be nearer to Edward and my hands crept up to his neck trying to hold him in place.
Reluctantly he removed my hands and himself from my grasp.
“Mackenzie, baby steps I think, I am what I am and I can never loose control. And the part of me that’s human is still a man Mackenzie and you don’t know how hard it is for me to resist you. Please understand that it’s your life I am risking by just being near you. I shall be damned for allowing you to put yourself in this danger, but I can not let you go again.”
A smug smile swept across my face and I grabbed for Edwards hand as I pulled him down to sit with me in the meadow. We sat like that for a long time until the sun started to go down and the chill wind made me shiver. I looked at my unsuitable running clothes and grimaced as the first drops of rain started to fall. I jumped up still not relinquishing my hold on Edwards hand and started to run for the trees.
Edward ran fluidly beside me, “You’re going to get pneumonia out in this.” He stated.
“I’m ok it wont take as long if we run.” I shouted back to him as the rain started to fall harder.
With that, in one quick motion Edward had swung me up behind his back, like a child would ride its parents back when its legs got tired. Not seeming to notice my extra weight on him, he set off at a terrific speed. The dark trees that I could hardly see now were a blur, but Edward ran sure footed and what had taken me an hour earlier to hike over took Edward a matter of a minute or two.
We fell into the dryness of the Volvo and Edward started the car and switched the heater on full for me.
We fell into silence again, once in the car. This time it was a silence filled with wonder. My eyes strayed constantly to Edwards’s eyes, and he appeared to be looking at me more than at the road. Even this didn’t bother me. Edward said he cared about me!
All too soon we were parked by my truck, a thought suddenly hit me.
“I thought you weren’t supposed to go onto the reservation?” worry making my voice wobble.
Edward looked impressed. “You weren’t kidding when you said you knew quite a lot!”
“Sorry!” I automatically replied. “No,” he said grasping my hands, “It’s good to know that I don’t have to hide things from you, I’m the one who is sorry.” He released my hand and gently brushed my cheek, as he had done once before. The fire immediately lit in the pit of my stomach from his touch, and he must has sensed it because he dropped his hand and moved back fractionally to allow me to gather my thoughts and coherence.
“This isn’t Quileute ground. That starts on the other side of the lodge. It’s a good job you were this side of the trail when you fell, not the other, I wouldn’t have been able to get to you if that had been the case.” He said in a matter of fact way but his face looked troubled.

So he had been there when I fell. At least I remembered something!

“I’ll follow you back home.” Edward said to my unasked question.
“Ok.” I said feeling lost the moment he closed the truck door on me and got back into his own car. I drove the now familiar roads back to the cabin and kept a watchful eye on Edwards Volvo behind me. It was dark by the time we got there. I felt a warm sense of homecoming as I got out the truck, Edward was walking around the cabin, with a look that could only be described as a cross between anger and disgust.

I went ahead into the cabin and threw the switches on the lights, leaving the door open for Edward I ran through to the kitchen and put the kettle on the stove. I felt the slight move in the air as Edward joined me. I turned smiling at him. My heart did great big flip flops just at the sight of him. Shivers ran through the whole of my body at his proximity and he miss-read these saying, “You need to change out of those wet clothes, or else I will be taking you back to see my father again!”
I didn’t bother to argue with him, and in truth I was freezing, so I went wordlessly into the bathroom and ran myself a shower. The water was as hot as I could stand it, my whole body was pink and was surrounded by the aroma of coconuts by the time I finished!
I found a string vest tee and pj bottoms and slipped my feet into my bunny slippers. After brushing my teeth and dragging the comb through my hair, I went back out to make a drink. Edward turned as I walked over to him. “So are you going to tell me why Jacob Black was lounging on your couch?” Edwards’s eyebrows were raised and he was smiling but there was a hint of steel in his eyes that his smile didn’t reach.
“He came to visit me the other night, and ended up breaking down my front door!” I could hear the annoyance in my voice.
Edward was outraged. “He did what? Did he hurt you?”
“No of course he didn’t, he heard me scream,” I admitted trying to hide my embarrassment, “and knocked the door through thinking I was in trouble!”

Edwards face relaxed a little and he stopped pacing the floor. “What was he doing lurking around anyway?” he wanted to know.
“That’s exactly what I said to him,” I agreed, “serves him right, it was lucky for him it was only the 2 litre pan that I hit him with!”

“Wait a second, you hit Jacob Black with a sauce pan?” Edward asked smiling widely.

“Well I didn’t know who he was, the lights were out and well I hadn’t seen you, so I felt pretty confident it wasn’t you either.”

Edwards smile disappeared, “I’m sorry I left you alone. I won’t let it happen again.”

Taking advantage, I moved myself and wrapped my arms around Edward’s neck.
“I wasn’t intending on letting you.” I said as I quickly brushed my lips over his and then immediately withdrew.

I hadn’t been sure if Edward reacted to my blood the way he had with Bella’s until today and I really didn’t want to cause him any more pain than I had done already.

I sat down on the sofa and held my hand out for Edward to join me. He sat and couldn’t hide the look of distaste on his face.

“What’s wrong Edward?” I asked concerned.

“You really shouldn’t let the mutt on the couch you know!” he said as he made a big thing of sniffing the air.

“Be nice?” I asked him.

“How could I deny you anything Kenzie? I will be good I promise. Plus I am happy that you have someone else looking out for you as well as me, it makes me feel like you may get through the day with out some major disaster happening to you.”

I let my eyes close as I snuggled into Edwards’s side. It was an odd feeling, there was no body heat coming from him, but my body tingled with its own heating system just being beside him.
I recollect thinking before I slipped into sleep that though I was sorry for Bella, all was fair in love and war!

Chapter 5

Theres lots of strong language and lemons in my story, please dont read if you are easily offended!

I do not own anything, all things Twilight belong to Stephenie Myers.

Chapter5
The trouble within

I had spoken to Charlie in the morning declining his offer to stay permanently at the house. It would have been so easy to slip into that role and I think we both would have enjoyed the company, but I couldn’t bring myself to encroach on any more of Bella’s space. He did offer a compromise that I thought would be workable though .A friend of Billy Black, Jacobs’s dad, had a small hunting cottage out in the woods off of the main highway. The property backed onto Charlie's house and would mean that we would both be able to have a bit of company if we wished.
“Billy said that his pal won’t want much for rent.” Charlie informed me. Though I had realized by now that money wasn’t an issue here. If I had wanted I could have continued to stay at the Lodge.
“It’ll need a bit of fixing up but I can always give you a hand.” He finished gruffly.
I instinctively went and hugged him. “Thanks Charlie, this is the best news.”
Charlie blushed the colour of fresh tomato’s, but puffed out his chest and said his goodbye as he went off to work.

I called the number Charlie had given me and recognized Jacob's voice on the other end.
I was genuinely pleased to hear him and he seemed happy that I was going to take on the cabin. He said that he would let Billy know and get it sorted with his hunting buddy. I agreed that I would meet me there this weekend. I thanked him and we said goodbye. Checking that I had everything in place before I left, I jotted the instructions for the casserole I had left for Charlie to have for his dinner.

‘Dear Charlie,
Thanks for everything, I have spoken to Jacob and I am meeting them at the cabin this weekend. You have a casserole for dinner in your slow cooker, just serve!
Love Kenzie x’

Feeling a bit happier than I had last night I jumped in the truck and went to school. I pulled into the car park and saw Emmett’s 4x4 but didn’t see Edwards silver Volvo. I looked around for him most of the morning, but he didn’t show up. When it got to lunch time and he still wasn’t there, my head was about to explode with worry. I decided that I needed to know that he didn’t go back out looking for those 3 men last night and the only ones who could tell me where the rest of the Cullen’s. Grabbing my usual drink and apple I said hi to the table of my friends as I walked past them. They all clocked the direction I was heading in and as one their heads swiveled round to look.

“Waiting for the carnage no doubt!” I said under my breath.

As I got closer 4 pairs of golden eyes looked at me. Alice and Emmett's were welcoming, Jaspers were a little guarded, and Rosalie’s were downright hostile!
“Hi, is anyone sat here?” Nodding my head in the direction of the empty seat. Alice answered quickly before Rosalie could. ”Hi, nope be our guest.” I flashed a smile at Alice and thanked her for dropping my car and a bag over to the chief’s house.

“You’re welcome,” she said lightly. “I hope you had everything you needed; I didn’t see that you would need anything else.”

I noticed the slip she had made by saying see, but I didn’t mention it. Alice had probably said that on purpose anyway, because it was hard to imagine this perfect little pixie girl making any mistake at all.

“It was great, thanks for doing that for me.”

Alice chatted idly for a few minutes, I glanced over to Rosalie and she took the opportunity to speak.

“What do you want?” just like that. No pre-amble, just straight in. I stopped eating my apple and assessed the situation, these weren’t school kids and well, they were all too old to play games. Well I wasn’t a school kid either!

“Did Edward go back to Port Angeles to kick the shit out of those arseholes?”

Emmett choke laughed, Jaspers eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline, Alice smiled and Rosalie just stared. I’m sure Alice was about to launch into some well rehearsed story, but I cut her off.

“Look I realize that you probably don’t want me around your brother and that I’m causing him all sorts of problems, I understand all that, but I need to know if he’s ok.”

Rosalie's voice brought my eyes to her lovely face. “What would you do if I said that we won’t tell you? What could you do?”

I thought about her question for a minute before answering “well I could try kicking all your butts but I have a feeling that that won’t get me very far. I could scream my head off and cause a scene, but you would probably enjoy the attention!”

Rosalie's eyes became hard as steel.

“Or I could appeal to your better nature and just ask you to tell me because it’s the right thing to do and because I really do care about him and I’m really worried incase he does something silly, which none of us wants. And probably most importantly, I’m not going to stop bugging you until I get a fricking answer!”

Alice, Jaspers and Emmett's gaze turned to Rosalie.
Her stare was on me and I could feel its force burning into my skull. I forced my self to continue eating my apple as casually as I could and to make myself look like I was there for the duration. I never let my gaze move from hers though. All of a sudden Rosalie's mouth started to turn up in the faintest hint of a smile. “Your either very brave or very stupid, but I understand what your saying, so no, Edward didn’t go after those men, though it took all of Esme’s and Carlisle’s persuasion. Carlisle took him, away for the day, to do some father son stuff.” She finished.

Feeling so relieved I thanked her and picked up my lunch things and said my farewells to all of them.

“We’ll see you soon though Kenzie.” Alice said. It was a statement, not a question. It left me wondering what she knew that I didn’t. Then I thought probably everything.

oOo

The next day I was sick. I hadn’t slept well, too much going over in my head. Too many things to worry about with Edward and then too much guilt about Bella and of course my own family and friends. It seemed the longer I was here the more settled into this life I became, but was this life mine? Or was I actually loosing myself? I contemplated what staying here would mean, I wondered if that were the case would I be dead in my old life and if it did mean that, could I bring myself to do that? It would all depend on Edward I was silly to think otherwise. If Edward wished me to stay then I would stay. If he needed me to go then I would go and let things be the way that they were written to be. So when I woke up feeling feverish and weak I wasn’t surprised, just annoyed as I had a lot to sort out and each day could be my last there. That thought scared me.

The weekend came and went and far from feeling better I actually felt worse. As was with most nurses I didn’t make a good patient so I turned my phone off and medicated myself and tried to sleep off the flu virus. At some point my temperature must have got fairly high because I was sure that I could hear Ruby talking to me, telling me about a dress that she had bought and how she couldn’t wait for me to see it.

By Monday I crawled out of bed and got ready for school. I was feeling slightly better but I felt as week as a kitten. My knees were wobbling like a new born foal as I walked to the truck. As I pulled into the school parking lot I felt relieved that I had made it to school safely. I got out the truck and waved perfunctually to Tyler’s shouts of “Hi.”
I was concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other as I walked across the parking lot. There was a screech of brakes and a shout and something hit me hard, to the floor. I thought that the vehicle must have hit me and was pinning me down as I couldn’t move. I realized through my daze that it was Edward. People were around me all talking at once, but the only voice I heard was Edwards “Are you trying to get yourself killed?” He demanded of me. I looked around confused by everyone.
“I’m fine.” I assured the circle of people. As I got up gingerly and Edward picked up my bag he told me that he would walk me to my class. Once people were sure that they weren’t missing any blood and guts they dispersed quickly to class. I stopped to get my bearings but it felt strange, I couldn’t quite remember where I was supposed to be going. Edward was still ranting about my Bronsonesque death wish until he noticed that I was not retaliating in my usual feisty manner. For the first time since he’d dumped me to the ground he looked concerned instead of cross. He lifted my chin with his hand and looked at my face.

“Mackenzie, what’s wrong, are you ill?” even in my weakened state I couldn’t admit to him that I was poorly, I couldn’t show any weakness I couldn’t let him see just how pathetically dependant on him I was.
“It’s just a cold, ill be ok once I get inside” I murmured. I could feel his hands on my arm and around my shoulder directing me but I had closed my eyes by this time, feeling totally safe now that Edward was there. I felt the strength of Edwards’s body as he sat me somewhere and I let out a contented sigh as a familiar blackness enveloped me. This time I welcomed it, I encouraged it, all the things that were wrong here in this reality, were wrong because of me. It was easy really, once I was gone, everything would go back to the way it should be.
“you can be with Bella now, without me being in the way.” I said. Before the blackness totally claimed me. I thought I heard someone somewhere beg to not be left, but that was all, the blackness, my old friend welcomed me back and shut out all else.

I was so thirsty, my throat felt like it had had sand poured down it. My lips were dry and as I went to lick them to moisten them, I was horrified to note that my tongue was as dry as my lips were. I opened my eyes fully and groaned at the pain in the back of my head. I attempted to lift my head up and it was then that I noticed where I was and that I wasn’t alone. Edward saw me move and jumped to my side “Hello you!” he said quietly.
“Hello you too” I answered him in my thick rusty voice. I pulled myself into a sitting position and made a grab for the water by the side of the bed. Edward got to it before I did and held the cup as I drank from the straw. “Thanks.” I croaked out. Edward didn’t reply just nodded. “I’m really sorry about that, I don’t mean to be a bother.” I admitted.

“Don’t do that.” Edward stated firmly. I looked at him confused. “You apologize for your every move Mackenzie, like your apologizing for being ill, that’s just silly.”

I had to stop myself for the automatic apology that was about to pass my lips. I looked down at my knotting hands instead. I took in my surroundings properly now, I was back in Bella’s bedroom in Charlie's house.
“How’d I get here?” I asked him.

“I brought you; you weren’t exactly up to driving!” He told with a wry smile.

“Does Charlie know I’m here?”

“Yes, he suggested it.” I nodded my understanding. My eyelids were starting to drop over my eyes again, and Edward made to get up and go. I grabbed for his hand, feeling the comforting coolness of his skin, paying no attention to the way he tried to lightly pull out of my grip, I held onto his hand tightly.

“Please don’t go yet. Stay with me a little while?”

He allowed me to hold onto his hand and sat back down besides me. I smiled dreamily as I drifted off to sleep holding Edwards’s hand.

I woke again in the early hours of the morning and happily noted Edward still sat there watching me and still holding my hand.

“Why didn’t you wake me, you must be so uncomfortable.” I whispered.

“I can sit still for a lot longer than this Mackenzie and have no worry about moving.” He told me.

“Oh, right OK” I agreed without question.

He chuckled and had a curious look on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him.

“Well just for a girl who searches out answers to so many different things, at times you puzzle me by your easy acceptance of other things that should spike your curiosity!”

“Look, I think we both know that neither of us is exactly in the ‘Normal’ category. Let’s just leave it at that for the moment.” I suggested.

Edward agreed but didn’t stop looking at me with that slightly weird expression.

As dawn broke Edward said that he needed to go before Charlie came to say goodbye.
“I don’t want Charlie to find me here; I don’t think he would be too happy!”

“Thanks for staying with me Edward, and for looking after me….Again!”
I felt slightly embarrassed by how I had become so weak and feeble!
“Will you come and see me tonight?” I asked, not wanting to sound as needy as I felt. “Yes Kenzie, I will see you later.” He squeezed my hand as a way of parting, but not satisfied I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him with all my strength. He stiffened at first but finally relaxed and hugged me back gently and nuzzled my hair. I was sure I heard him smell my hair! The fragrance that came from him was beyond anything I could describe. It was like everything I liked most in the world all wrapped up in an oratory harmony made just for my senses. My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest and my hands wound themselves into the hair at the nape of Edwards’s neck. Reluctantly Edward took hold of my arms and extricated himself gently but firmly from my grasp.
“I’ll see you later. Try to rest.” He briefly touched his cool lips to my forehead and then left.
My body immediately ached for him; it felt a huge hole where he had been stood moments before.
My forehead was hot where his lips had brushed so feather like, spreading warmth outwards. I sighed and wondered what I was going to do today. After a quick tidy up, which was all I could physically manage, much to my disgust, I decided to read, I sat down to continue reading Jane Eyre. I must have read only a couple of chapters before my eyes closed wearily and I was asleep.

That evening when I had excused myself to Bella’s room, I was feeling much better. Still weak, but the raging temperature that had been burning through my body, seemed to have almost gone. I was sat on the bed reading again, when Edward appeared as if out of no where. I looked at him and smiled but didn’t mention his instantaneous entrance. This seemed to upset him more than if I had made a big thing out of it.

“Hello Edward.”

“Hello Mackenzie!”

“How was school?” I enquired. Putting my book down.

“It was fine, your friends were concerned about you though, even braved asking Alice how you were.”

I smiled and nodded, guessing that they chose to ask Alice instead of any of the other Cullen’s as she probably seemed the most approachable to them!

“I’ve brought you some homework so you won’t get behind.”

“Gee, thanks Edward remind me again why I like you?” I said sarcastically. His rich warm laughter helped to ease the thought of the homework. Knowing I would crawl 15 miles over broken glass just to get hear his laughter again.

“I’ll be at school again tomorrow.” Not looking at Edward as I didn’t want to see the disapproving look that would be there. “Plus,” I carried on. “I can’t stay in Bella’s house any longer. It’s really messing with my head.”


“What is this fascination with Bella Swan?” Edward asked all curious.

“I’m not fascinated; I just don’t like to intrude in her home.” And her heart.
Edward didn’t seem satisfied with this and he tried to push the issue.
“No there’s more to this, I know there is.”

“You seem so sure of so many things Edward. I wonder how you can ever be that sure about anything?” I looked at him knowing that in trying to steer him away from my own confessions I was heading him towards his.
Looking at him I forced a smile. “I’m tired Edward. I think I’ll go to bed now.” Not asking him to stay, I almost dismissed him as he had done to me the other night.

“See you at school Edward, have a good night.” I lay on Bella’s bed and faced away from him. It was only a second and I felt the loneliness envelope me, turning quickly to ask him to stay, I faced an empty room. Edward had already left silently.

xXx

I was up and in school early the next morning. I felt stronger than I had in about a week and I wondered how much of that was due to me having a plan of action. I knew what I needed to do. It was the not knowing if I was going to Edward again that made me so tetchy and irritable. I had challenged myself to stay away from him, feeling that we could both do with some breathing space.
I ran into the school office and handed in the work I had been doing that took me at least a month in advance of my course work. I explained that I needed to have some field study time and the letters I had typed on Charlie's old computer looked genuine enough. They didn’t really have much to say about it as I was as far as they knew 22 years of age and I had completed that terms work. So they agreed to my short sabbatical.

I ran back out to the car park and jumped into the truck. As I pulled out the lot I caught site of the silver Volvo turning in. I smiled as naturally as I could and waved, but I didn’t let my gaze linger on Edwards face. I saw the other Cullen faces looking at me briefly before I was past them and away.
The road out of Forks towards Seattle was like any other mountain highway. It was beautiful and on any other day I would have enjoyed the scenic drive. Not today though. Today I was on a mission. My small bag was packed and I had my purse with all my documents in it. About half an hour into my journey the rain started. The wipers on Bella’s truck had to work overtime and still they didn’t clear the screen sufficiently. I slowed my speed to allow for better visibility. Cars had started to put on their lights despite the fact that it was only mid morning.
I reached to turn the heater on, and my eyes must have drifted off the road for a second as with a crunching and screeching and scraping of gravel the truck bounced onto the hard shoulder of the road. I righted it ok but it was evident that something wasn’t quite right. I stopped, Switching on the hazard lights, jumped out of the cab. The nearside back tire was flat. I looked under the hood where I found a spare. A growl of frustration left my lips as I noted the totally flat side to the punctured spare.

‘Fuck it, why me?’

I climbed back into the trucks cab and hunted for my phone. The little green bars that told me how my reception was were showing me what I already knew, that I was in the middle of no where with no cell phone coverage any decade soon!

“This can not be happening!!” I shouted at the sky as I launched my cell phone across the cab onto the floor. I sat for about 20 minutes watching the rain fall torrentially. In the end I decided to hike it back to the gas station I had passed a little way back. I reasoned that it would probably take me about an hour to walk the 3 miles or so I had calculated it to be.
I grabbed the only jacket that I had with me and pulled my beanie down over my ears. Throwing all the important documents into my shoulder bag, I slung it over my shoulder and climbed out the relative warm and dry of the trucks cab.

I hadn’t been walking for 5 minutes and already the front faces of my jeans were wet through. The jacket wasn’t offering me any protection and was slicked to my body. As I walked my boots squelched with each step. Rivulets of water were running down my back between my shoulder blades and down my front in the valley between my breasts. With each step my mood got blacker and blacker and I moaned to myself punctuating each squelching footstep with one profanity or another. The rumbles of thunder I heard in the distance did nothing to brighten my mood. I noticed that I hadn’t seen any other cars pass me in a long time.
“Probably all too sensible to be out in this weather!”

Eventually I saw the gas station up ahead; the lights were out now though. They had been on as I had passed it earlier. I wondered if it might have a power cut due to the storm, and hoped that their phone still worked. Finally I got to the door, it all looked pretty empty. I was praying that someone was still here and that they hadn’t all gone home to sit out the weather. I knocked on the glass door and shouted “Hello. Anyone there?” As I knocked again harder this time the door bumped to, it wasn’t locked after all! Feeling like a total idiot I pushed open the door and walked in. There didn’t appear to be anyone around.

It was strangely eerie walking through the rows of produce in the dim light. I made my way to the rear of the shop where the counter was. Still no sign of anyone. I saw the phone and breathed a sigh of relief as I sped the last steps to reach it. As I picked up the receiver the dial tone made me let out an audible “Yes!” at least that was working, my luck must be changing. I wondered who I should call and surprised my self by dialing Jakes number. It rang twice before his voice answered. “Sup?”
“Hi Jake, its Kenzie,” relief flooding my tone. “Sorry to bother you but I need your help.”

“Hey Kenze, what trouble you got into now?” he asked only half jokingly.

I was about to give him a telling off when I heard a noise from behind the counter.
Ignoring Jakes continued assassination of my good character I looked around sharply before peeking over the service counter. I couldn’t see anything from there so I needed to go around.

“Jake, wait a second, something’s not right here, I’ve got to put the phone on the counter for a second, and I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Ok.” Jake said sensing my unease.

Checking over my shoulder as I went, I poked my head round the corner of the service hatch. I couldn’t see anything so took a step inside. There it was again, the sound was like someone moaning in pain. It was a sound I had heard many times in my career and my body went onto automatic pilot. I marched forwards to where the sound was coming from. Just at the doorway to what looked like a stock room I saw the ankle and foot of someone laid out on the floor. Grabbing the phone up again. I said “Jake there’s been an accident, someone’s hurt I need you to call an ambulance for me.”

“Ok fine where are you?” He asked worry in his tone.

“Im not sure…but im on the main highway in a gas station…” “Jake, Jake can you hear me?”

“Kenze, Kenzie where are you? Say it again; I didn’t hear what you said... Kenze, Mackenzie…”

“Jake, Jacob?” Nothing the phone had gone dead.

I hung up the phone quickly and went to the person on the floor. Without touching them, I tried to see if I could tell what had happened. There was a huge lump on the temple of the middle aged mans head that was turning a vivid dark purple and there was a small pool of blood that could possibly be coming from his ears. He looked pale and only like he was this side of alive.

As I fell to my knees I saw the wound in his neck and collar area properly. It was close to the carotid artery but luckily had missed by a fraction; otherwise he would have been dead already. I jumped up and ran down the aisles of the shop trying to find medical supplies. I found some travel first aid boxes and grabbed as many as I could and ran back to him. He was wearing a store badge which happily announced he was Jim and he was Happy to Help!


Wadding up some of the dressings I pushed them hard into the wound, there was no way I could get enough leverage for pressure so I had to manually apply the pressure needed to stem the flow of the blood. I was talking to the semi-conscious man, telling him that help was on its way. The mans eyes flickered open briefly and a look of horror was in them that frightened me. His pulse was growing weaker and I knew if he didn’t get blood soon he would die. Trying to think what I could use to transfuse him myself and of course coming up with nothing, I was praying that Jake had heard me though I hadn’t heard him.

Only a couple of minutes later the mans pulse had almost stopped. I sat amidst the bloodied surgical dressings and could not understand how this man could be dying like this. He must have sustained some severe internal injuries because the blood that he had lost wasn’t enough for him to have lost his hold on life so quickly. Feeling totally dejected and useless I sat and took his hand in my own. I wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone, and that someone was with him, and that I may be a stranger but I fought for his life as I would fight for my own. As the last breath left him a single tear rolled down my cheek, falling onto his fingers. I saw a wedding ring and I wondered if he had children, and who would tell his wife and family that their loved one wouldn’t be coming home.


“Well that was almost as good as getting to drain him!” said a deadly musical voice from behind me. I jumped round quickly, my eyes widening in fear.

‘Click’

The wound in the mans neck, the lack of blood, it all made sickening sense now. These vampires’ eyes were not the beautiful golden amber of Edwards’s family, they glowed scarlet. I was in real trouble this time.

The vampire that was stood in front of me was curiously androgynous. I couldn’t tell if they were male or female. Though they had the flawless beauty I would expect from a vampire, they held none of the appeal and beauty and grace that any of the Cullen’s had.
My every instinct was screaming at me to flee, to run away and hide.

The vampire casually walked closer to me. Seeming to enjoy the minute changes my body went through the more scared I got. I moved every time the vampire took a step, trying to keep the counter between us, knowing in actuality that that would be no barrier or deterrent for this animal.

“Mmm, you smell good, I’m going to enjoy you.” The look of hunger intensifying in the blood red eyes.

Trying not to take my eyes off of my attacker, I took another step towards the stock room door hoping that the iron panic room would be a suitable fire break to allow me to get another call out to someone, anyone.

The vampire was still talking it up, obviously a fan of the drama! “How unfortunate for you to drop in here right when I was feeding. It’s been such slim pickings recently, none of them smelt as good as you!

I was nearly at the stock room doors when in a single breath the vampire was upon me. I felt its body pushed hard against me and knew finally that I was dealing with a male. If a very feminine one at that.

“So im guessing that your going to make a big song and dance out of this?” I brazened.

“Coz I bet you were a real pain in the arse when you were human.” The vampire’s eyes became frosty even with the blood blazing through them.

There was no way I could physically fight this animal, I had to think of another way. If I was going to die here, I was going to make sure that at the very least I was the most unpleasant meal that monster would ever have.

“What’s up sugar? Can’t find a mate? Must be lonely wandering alone like you do?” I said conversationally.

“Still I’m sure the Volturi won’t mind if I don’t turn up for work after my vacation.”

A look of concern flittered across that flawless face. I was gambling hugely that this vamp knew what I was talking about and it hinged on there being the Volturi here, in this reality. Judging by the none too confident look on the vampires face I was guessing that they probably did exist here.
I silently thanked all things holy and pushed on.

“What did you say your name was?”

“I didn’t, say me name.” the vampire told me in a hiss.

“Only I was going to write this down, you know so that you and I could be remembered. You never know they may write a book about you one day.”

“My name is Isaac.” He replied grandly. Enjoying the spotlight moment despite himself.

“Well Isaac, if I was going to go I’m glad it was by you.” Isaac puffed out his non existent chest.

“Because Aro had me earmarked, but between you and me, he had such bad breath.”

Again the mention of Aro and the volturi halted Isaac. I could see different emotions related to his differing options flash across his face. Did he want to risk going against the volturi directly, was I worth it?
In the end a look of resignation crossed his face.

“What do the likes of Aro and his underling have to do with me? I answer to no one. I will be long gone by the time someone finds you.”

He held me solidly. This time all the talking and fighting had gone from me.

“I see your not so chatty now are you bitch?” His fingers gauged deep nail marks into my arms.

“I hope I fucking poison you, you son of a bitch!” I screamed in his face. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he moved in to bite. I closed my eyes and said sorry to all the people I loved and was leaving. I felt his breath as he opened his mouth. I was going to die.

xXx

I waited for the pain to come, but it didn’t. I opened my eyes and saw Isaac hovering, mouth open over my neck. His eyes had a far away look in them, like he was listening for something. Finally content that everything was ok his attention returned to me. He relaxed and once again prepared to drain me.

The sound that Isaac made as he hit the floor was deafening. I was frozen to the spot bodies appeared to come from out of no where. Alice was stood in front of me.
“Mackenzie, we need to leave now. Kenzie please, we have to go...” she begged urgently.

“Alice, get her out of here.” Edward ordered. I looked up realizing what was happening. Edward had tackled Isaac to the floor and Emmett was now holding the red eyed vampire along with Edward. The look of anger on Edwards face scared me but thrilled me as well. Alice took my hand and dragged me out of the store. I could hear shouts and screams from inside and fear for Edward and Emmett made me try to return. “Mackenzie if I don’t get you out of here right now I am going to be in so much trouble, now I don’t want to hurt you but WE HAVE TO GO!”
This sounded so ridiculous coming from the tiny girl who was barely up to my shoulder, but I knew not to underestimate her and finally got into Rosalie’s car. Jasper was driving and didn’t say anything as I got in the back seat. Alice got in beside Jasper and we set off away from the gas station at a frightening pace. I kept looking back, worry for Edward and the Emmett all over my face.
“They’re going to be ok Mackenzie, you don’t need to worry.” Alice said correctly reading my face. I nodded, but didn’t say anything.
Jasper drove me back to the truck and I got out of Rosalie’s car and got back into the familiar cab.

When Alice went to get in the cab with me I rudely asked to be left on my own.
“We’re in the car behind you if you need us.” She said ignoring the slight and smiled at me as she laid a gentle hand on my arm before she went back to the other car and Jasper. It was perhaps half an hour later when I heard the deep rumble of Emmett’s 4x4. I heard car doors opening and closing and eventually the cab passenger door opened and Edward jumped in gracefully. Before he was sat properly I had propelled myself at him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. Clinging to him like he was my life raft, not ever wanting to let go. “Are you all ok?” I demanded still not relinquishing my hold.
“We’re all fine Kenzie; everyone is on their way home.”

“Good!” I said still trying to press myself into Edward.
“We’re going to need to get you some new tires for the truck but I will sort that for you later. For now I will take you home in my car.”
I grabbed what I needed and got out the truck. Edward looked briefly at my overnight suitcase, but didn’t mention it. And 5 minutes later we were on the road heading back towards Forks.

Before we got into town Edward pulled into a lay by and turned off the engine. I sat looking at him, wondering why we had stopped but not wanting to speak first.
“Don’t you want to ask me?” Edward almost snapped out after a while.

“Ask you what?” looking to him confused.

“Oh Mackenzie, I would have thought you would have a thousand questions!”

“No not really.”

Edward looked unconvinced.

“Well actually there is one question.” I said looking straight into his heart stopping eyes.
“I thought that there would be.” He stiffened his shoulders, looking like he was preparing to go to war. “What did you want to know Mackenzie?” He asked me sadly, but with a resigned expression.

“What took you so long?” I blurted out, not able to hide the catch in my voice.

“What took me so long? You want to know what took me so long?” he almost chortled!

“That’s what I said. I thought I was toast for a second there.”
The look of total disbelief hung on his face for seconds

“Can you tell me what happened to you first, can you tell me exactly as it happened?” Edward tried again. I could see that he was gathering information of how much I had witnessed before he told me anything that was unnecessary for him to tell me.

“Ok.” I allowed. I spent the next 10 minutes explaining how I had got a flat tire and how I had stopped. I couldn’t hide my anger at the phone or my disgruntled expression at having to walk through the pouring rain. I didn’t say anything about why I was on the road to Seattle or why I had a case with me. I told him about how I had found Jim and how I had tried to save him but despite my efforts he had died. Edward looked like he was going to ask me his own question on that matter, but decided against it and I carried on. I then explained that was when Isaac had jumped me.



“Shit! I phoned Jake for help I think Isaac cut the phone wire on me. I’d better call him and let him know im ok.”

Edward looked a bit sulky but agreed passing me his own phone. I called Jake, sketching over what had happened and I assured him I was ok, I hung up promising to visit him tomorrow.

“You really are a full time responsibility.” He said not angrily.

“Edward I’m not your responsibility, I can make my own mistakes without any help at all. Half the time I don’t know if you’re running from me or towards me. You tell me one thing and then act in the totally opposite way. You shrink away when I touch you, yet you seek to protect me. I’ll admit it, I really don’t know where I am with you. So my apologies for being a pain in the arse”

He took my hand in his own. The coolness of his skin igniting the paradox of flames on mine. “I feel very protective of you, I get very…anxious when I don’t know where you are and if your safe or not.” He looked into my eyes and begged with my soul not to push the point.
“So how did you find me Edward?”

He looked from my eyes out the window and back to my gaze.
Edward was trying desperately to find a way of explaining what had just happened and in the end I couldn’t bare to watch him struggle.

“Look Edward, let’s cut the bullshit shall we?” His eyebrows rose up in surprise and a flash of uncertainty crossed his beautiful features.

“I know what Isaac was. Does that help?”

Edwards’s eyes opened wider warily. “And what exactly was that?” He had picked up on my usage of the past tense.

“He wanted to drain my blood Edward; he had drained most of Jims already. He would have finished the job if I hadn’t come along and interrupted him.”

My casual acceptance of this baffled and even angered him. He was struggling to find words. “Doesn’t this knowledge freak you out?” he asked. Not finding a better way of putting it I guessed.

“Someone really smart once told me that it’s not what we are that matters, its what we do that shapes us. I really believe that Edward. It’s those choices that we make every day that make us into the people we are.”
“I know what you are Edward and I know what all your family are.”
The look of total shattering despair on Edwards face nearly broke my heart. Not releasing his hand, “I know what you and your family are,” I repeated. “You are good, kind, decent people, nothing else matters.”

If you weren’t I couldn’t have possibly fallen in love with you. I said to myself.

I brought his hands to my lips and kissed them gently, savoring the smell and the taste and the feel of him.
His incredulous look made my breath catch in my throat.

I loved him, I loved Edward Cullen and I didn’t know how long I would get to be with him but for now that was enough.

Edward eventually found his voice.” You don’t know what you’re saying; you don’t know what I’ve done in the past.” He still seemed stuck in the thought that I hadn’t fully grasped what he was.

“Edward I get it, but that has absolutely no bearing on how I feel about you.”
He gasped, shocked at the throw away nature of my last statement. For many minutes he stared into my eyes trying to read something in them. Eventually in defeat “You don’t know what you’re saying.

“I know exactly what I’m saying Edward and I know that you and your family wouldn’t hurt anyone, let alone me. I know what you are and I know what I’m saying and you had better get used to it because frankly im too tired to keep fighting.”

‘Click’

That’s why things had been so off! I was just fighting the wrong things all the time, that’s why I was having such bad luck here. At least that was my theory.

I wrapped my hands around Edwards’s strong shoulders and gently placed my lips towards him. “I’m going to kiss you Edward so be warned, do what you have to do, I just want you to know. It doesn’t matter you feel the same as me but I can live with that.”

I placed my mouth over his, his breath sweet and his lips so cool; it was the most gentle, most innocent, most emotion fuelled of kisses I had ever experienced. I sighed into his mouth and pulled away before my raging need over rode my wish to be sensible for Edward.

A look of total bewilderment was on his face, but the worry frown that had seemed to almost always be present had gone.

We drove the rest of the way to Charlie’s house in silence. I didn’t take my eyes from his face.

For what seemed a lifetime we sat just looking at each other. Eventually Edward asked. “You do know what your saying don’t you? You do realize what you’re getting mixed up with?”

“Yes Edward I know, now if it’s ok with you I need to go to bed. I got out the car and shut the door without another word and made my way inside.

I ripped up the note I had left for Charlie earlier on in the day and scribbled another quick note saying I was tired and that I was going to bed and that I would see him in the morning. Edward hadn’t followed me indoors but I wasn’t surprised to see him sat on the bed as I entered the bedroom.

“You could have used the front door this time Edward!” nodding towards the door.

“Force of habit.” He said a bit distracted. I told Edward to wait and I went across the hall into Charlie's bathroom. I stripped off the clothes that were stained with Jim’s blood and ran quickly downstairs and put them in the washer before Charlie could see them. Running back upstairs I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, looking at the dark circles that were evident under my own grey eyes. So much had happened and so much I couldn’t explain. I pulled the plug out of the basin watching the water swirl its way down the drain, raising my eyes to the mirror again I saw Edward stood in the doorway of Bella’s bedroom staring at my near naked form.

‘shit. I always forget to shut the bathroom door!’

Stood there with my back to Edward in only my knickers and bra, I may have well been naked. His eyes seared across every inch of my body. I didn’t really have any body issues I was what I was, but I had never been examined and looked at in the way that Edward now looked at me. I was sure with his keen vampire eyes he was able to see my very pores and every imperfection in my skin. I turned to face him brazenly, and looked directly into his eyes trying to ignore the hunger that was very evident there. This time I knew that my own hunger was a match for his, my appetite was not for food but for Him. My breath caught in my throat and made my chest heave as I took in a shuddering breath. Edwards’s eyes moved to my breasts and the swell of them over the edge of my bra. I followed Edwards gaze down and was horrified to note I had on a pair of men’s boxers

‘Fuck there goes my seductress image’

Feeling for the first time uncomfortable I turned away, back to the mirror, in the fraction of a second it took for me to do this Edward appeared directly behind me. He was stood so close that I could feel the electricity jump from my body to his and back again. I looked at him in the mirror with his head slightly bowed staring at the pulse that was thrumming in my neck. Almost sensing my gaze he looked up into the mirror and saw me staring at him. Every cell in my body wanted to melt itself into Edward, his body was as close as anyone would get without there being any physical contact what so ever. His eyes were half closed but they sparkled with the golden flecks that I had noticed before.

He inhaled along the side of my head and I watched in fascination as the tip of his tongue came from the shelter of his divine mouth and lapped at his lips. As close as I was I saw the moisture trail left by the exquisite movement.
I moaned ever so gently, my own tongue mirroring his movements and licking my bottom lip. My heart was pounding a rhythm that reverberated through my chest down through my diaphragm and hit my pelvis with repetitive thumps, making my knees become severely in danger of collapsing. My body had started to sway now and I knew that I was in serious sensory overload. I took another shuddering breath and several strands of my hair fell over my eyes. Edward looked at the hair like it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen, he raised a long beautiful hand to tuck the wayward strand out of the way as I had wanted to do to him on so many occasions. His hand grazed the tip of my left nipple fractionally, like a feather falling

The shock wave of sensations that erupted from that accidental touch nearly brought me to my knees. I staggered, falling back towards Edward. Instinctively he put out his arms to catch me and as soon as his arms were around me and his hands were on me I could no more stop than I could stop myself from breathing. I twisted about in his arms facing him again. My arms remained at my sides but I lifted my chin and placed my lips on his. There was no hesitation this time from Edward and I exulted in the feel of his kiss deepening as he pushed my lips apart with his tongue. I let out a gasp into his mouth as a cool hand was placed on my back pulling me into him, the electric shocks as each pore met his body sent me spinning in a new round of sensation. His hand moved down my back, eliciting another audible gasp.
I thrust my pelvis forwards and was met by the extraordinary size and hardness of Edwards’s arousal. My hand moved of its own accord wanting to envelope his erection. As I made contact with him it was Edwards turn to moan! My fingers ran along the feel of the shaft through Edwards jeans. He was from a different era but I knew that he was not an island and he was no novice in what he did to me with that kiss.

The sound of him talking was deliciously musical, the sound of him moaning in sexual pleasure almost sent me over the edge, my knees buckled and I almost ended up in a heap at his feet. I wanted to be nearer to him I wanted to have him fill me, I didn’t want to be a separate entity from him any longer, my need was about to overtake me, kissing Edward my tongue dancing across the edges of his own tongue, I was lost, I was reborn I was nothing without him, no person had the right to feel what I was feeling, but I wanted more, my hand reached into the waistband of his jeans and traced a line across his cool skin, his breaths were coming in short sharp gasps, almost animal in their nature, I looked up into Edwards eyes with all the love I could show and undid his jeans button…

“NO” he pushed away from me and I found myself almost falling again, but alone in the bathroom, whilst Edward was facing me like I was the enemy, from the window in Bella’s bedroom. Edwards’s eyes were hooded and dark, and his breaths rasping as he stared at me his hands gripping onto the window sill as his body still arched forwards towards me. My own breaths were raking my chest, confusion and loss and arousal and dejection were all flying around my body, I didn’t know what feeling to deal with first. I tried to slow my breathing so that I could at least look like I was in control, but what I really wanted to do was run over to Edward and surrender myself to him totally.

“Mackenzie,” he said in a hoarse voice. “I have to keep in control; I can never let myself go around you, not even for a second.”
“Its ok I understand, I’m sorry I don’t have the will or control that you do, you obviously find it easier to resist me than I do you. I’m sorry for being so selfish again Edward.”

I turned away, back to the bathroom mirror and as I did, like a spoilt petulant rejected child, I kicked the door closed.

‘I’m a total bitch!’