Chapter 4

Theres lots of strong language and lemons in my story, please dont read if you are easily offended!

I do not own anything, all things Twilight belong to Stephenie Myers.


Chapter 4
Your Move!

I didn’t go to school for the next 2 days. I was too busy wallowing in my own filth and misery. By the evening of the 3rd night since my discharge from hospital I had almost cried myself out. I hadn’t cried because I was some stupid idiot girl who needed someone to tell me what to do, I cried because I missed my friends and I needed them to know I was ok, and I needed to know that they were all ok as well. The more I tried to figure out what I should do the more confused I became and the more I felt hopeless. I had a strong feeling that as in a book I needed to go from beginning to end. I was so impatient but I realized things couldn’t be rushed.

I ran a bath and submerged myself totally allowing the near furnace like temperature to wash away any residue of hopelessness that was still lingering.
I dried my hair and got dressed. I even put on some mascara and some lippy. I sprayed on my favourite perfume and grabbed my bag as I walked out the door and went over to the bar in the main area of the Lodge.
I grabbed a seat at the end of the bar and ordered a beer. There was what looked like a band setting up on the stage area and I sharp pang of loneliness hit me across the face. Even Toby rubbing his crotch up and down my thigh would be better than forced to sit in a bar on my own like some sad saddo! I decided to stay for an hour and then I would return to my room, I just needed to be around people. After the first 20 minutes I had had enough, I was drawing some unwanted attention so I called it a day. I waved bye to the chap behind the bar and grabbed my bag and headed out to my room. It was very bright outside as nearly a full moon was visible through the minimal clouds. I looked towards the cliff top steps where I had fallen and wandered over to take a look. I could see the steps almost to the bottom because of the brightness of the moon. My eyes scanned the beach, hearing the waves crashing against the shore and the partly submerged rocks.

I saw the huge Wolf only by chance. It had run out onto the beach, but then drastically changes direction so that it was hugging close to the cliff wall. I couldn’t tell what colour it was but it was the size of a horse, and it ran almost soundlessly along the sand. The big ears were turning in every direction like duel radars and its tongue lolled out the side of its smiling mouth. I resisted the urge to call out and with a final glance back, I walked to my room.

I had only just closed the door behind me when there came a light tap on it.
I looked through the peep hole, smiled and opened the door to Jacob.

“Hi Jacob.” I said looking at his unusual night time attire. “Nice to see you dressed up for me!” I said sarcastically, noting the jeans that were the only thing he wore.
He ran an appreciative eye over me
“Yeah, and looks like you did the same for me!”
“There’s nothing wrong with the rock chick look!” I stated as I flung my biker boots off.
“You won’t hear any arguments from me!” He said suggestively.

“Anyway, what’s up? What are you doing here? Is this a social visit or are you on a mission for the Chief?”

Jacob looked slightly embarrassed, so I guessed that Charlie’s mission was the correct assumption. “He just wanted me to check in on you as you hadn’t been at school.”

‘Wow, he was a good detective!’

“Tell him I’m fine. I am going back tomorrow.” Jacob nodded his agreement.
“Was there anything else?” I asked him as he seemed to be thinking of a way to say something.
“Look, don’t let Charlie know I told you this but, just be careful, you shouldn’t go wandering around. Especially at night on your own. There have been these ….” He seemed to be choosing his words carefully. “…Attacks, animal attacks……if you need me or need to go anywhere, you can always call me.” Jacob looked genuinely worried.

“Thanks Jacob, but I really can handle myself; you and the Chief don’t need to worry about me. I’m not scared of some big Dog or Big overgrown teddy bear.”

’Shit! Way to go at keeping your big dumb mouth shut Kenze!’

Jacobs’s eyes flew to meet mine. “Why did you say that?”

I floundered, “I think I heard someone telling one of the other guests who was planning on going hiking. That there had possibly been a bear or rogue dog attack. Those Rottweiler’s get pretty huge you know. ” I stated unconvincingly.
“Oh, ok.” He didn’t look too sure but he let the matter drop.

‘Yes I am the think on your feet queen.’

I hastily changed the subject to one that I knew was going to interest Jacob. Bella!

“So how come you know Bella?”

“We’ve known each other since we were kids, Charlie thought she was coming here to stay for a while, but she changed her mind suddenly and announced that she was taking off to England and that you were coming in her place.”

“When did she tell you all this?” I asked curious now to know what Bella had known that I hadn’t.
“Well she kept it quiet from Charlie else he would have kicked up, so I gather that she organized everything and then on the day she just went and left a note.” Jacob snickered to himself. “Geez Charlie went ape!”

Well that was interesting but didn’t really help my current situation. My best hope was actually getting to talk to Bella herself. Because of me and my fall through the rabbit hole, Bella and Edward hadn’t met yet, and as drawn to Edward as I was I knew I couldn’t stay here. I had to know if there was a way for me to get back and for Bella to get back here where she belonged.
I kicked Jacob out soon after and said I would see him at some point. He nodded and waved and walked out, brushing off my offer of a jumper, into the clear cold night.

As I pulled up to school the next day, I had a lot on my mind. Firstly I didn’t want to stay at the Lodge for more than the 4 weeks, I would need to find some alternative lodgings. Something a little more homely. Secondly it didn’t seem to matter what I spent here my bank account always stayed the same! And finally for the moment I had to hand back Bella’s truck, I didn’t feel right running around in it. I wondered if Bella was off bombing about London in my Union Jack Mini. For a second I clenched my teeth then berated myself for being such greeneyedmonster-delusionhead!
I went through the morning classes, none of it was particularly taxing. I was one of those annoyingly lucky people that seemed to retain facts and did well at tests with out actually having to try too hard.

‘If I’d studied I would have been a proper no shit Sherlock genius!’

I wondered into the cafeteria and spotted Eric. I made a beeline for him and his face brightened when I sat down next to him. He soon looked less happy when I asked if I could borrow his laptop as I needed to do a bit of research. He grudgingly handed over his beloved machine and I moved off to a quiet table.

I ran some general searches and went on the BBC news website but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. The recession, war, births, deaths and marriages. The world was still turning and didn’t look like it missed me!
I looked up from the screen and saw 5 pairs of golden eyes looking at me suspiciously. I looked back to the computer screen hastily, making sure I didn’t look at Edward at all and pretended to myself that I was far too engrossed in what I was doing to pay more than a fleeting notice of the Cullen Club.
I had started to refer to their little tribe in this manner as this is how they portrayed themselves to the rest of the pupils. They were the coolest club in school and no one else was allowed access.
I returned Eric’s laptop and grabbing an apple I walked out the dining room. This afternoon I had Biology again but I wanted to check something out in the library before I went to class. I glanced at my map confirming where it was and went straight to the popular culture section. The book I had been searching for wasn’t there. I then went to the librarian and asked if they had any books by Stephenie Meyers.
“Who dear?” the librarian asked
“Never mind, I think I must have made a mistake.”
I walked out my suspicions confirmed. The bell rang and I had to run to not be late.
As I walked into class Edward was sat at the desk already. I smiled to everyone around me and ignored him. The look of disgust in his eyes last time we had been together still too raw for me to handle.

‘Childish, I know. But let’s face it, I was having a shit week!’

“So, how are you?” He asked after a few minutes. I kept my head down not wanting to look at that devastating face.
“I’m feeling much better, thanks.” I was paying extreme attention to the back of the head of the person in front of me.
“I see! So how are you liking the weather?”

‘Are you kidding me? He did actually ask about the weather’

“Erm, it’s just like being at home!” I risked a quick glance at him.

‘Bugger!’


Edward was still looking at me. This time his eyes were no longer black but they were that rich Ochre, amber golden tone, which no one had come up with a suitable name for yet.
Not liking that he always seemed to have the upper hand I mentally slapped myself around a bit and told myself to behave like an adult. I was older than him after all, he was what? Late teens?

‘OK, so technically he nearly had a century on me, I wasn’t going to loose sleep over it!’

Mr. Banner brought round the slides and Edward offered for me to go first. We identified the slides quickly and Edward was staring at me with that same puzzled look.
“You don’t act like the normal kids here.” He blurted out.


‘And there was me worried that I said things as I thought them!’

I laughed, “Thanks for that, I’ll try to be a bit more normal in the future!”
Edward looked up, checking if I was upset really.
“Relax. It’s fine.”

Edward asked me some more questions, all of them about where I was from what I liked why I had come here. I had to pay particular care of what I was saying, I told him only the bits I was able and he knew it and I could tell it was frustrating him.

“So both you and your best friend came out on the exchange?” Edward asked.

“Yeah, but Ruby had an emergency to attend to!” I replied as casually as I could.

“So where’s your friend Ruby now?” he asked all earnest.


“At home safe and well.” I said in the hope that it was true.


Whether Edward picked up that talking about Ruby made me uncomfortable, I don’t know. He did move onto lighter subject matter after that.

“Wow does every exchange student get the 5o q inquisition?” I asked with a half smile.


He hit me with a full on Dazzle Offensive.


“Only those that interest me and aren’t telling the full story!” he fired back. The look of amused frustration and interest evident in his golden gaze.

I batted my eyelashes at him and grinned cheekily; he seemed slightly perturbed and couldn’t seem to keep his eyes from resting on my lips,

“Speaking of which, I gather you were out of town yesterday!” I didn’t make it a question, just a simple statement of fact. 2 could play at this game. His eyes shot from my mouth to my own eyes trying to see some meaning behind my words. His brow furrowed and my fingers twitched to reach out and smooth away the wrinkle that his consternation was leaving there. His hands were clenched in tight balls, and I suspected that the table would be a little worse for wear when Edward removed them.
Buoyed up by my little victory I edged my chair as close to his as I could. I was gambling hugely but the not being in control of anything in my life, made me reckless!
A look of terror came over his face, as I pushed my chest against him making sure my nipples made contact with the grey t-shirt he was wearing and the contoured lines of his chest and I placed a leg either side of his, making sure our thighs touched.
I was intrigued that though I knew he didn’t actually need to breath, the pace of his breathing quickened. I heard little splintering sounds coming from underneath Edwards’s clenched fists, but he didn’t pull away from me. I reached out and placed my warm hand over his cool one. I leant into him as far as I could, letting my nose almost nuzzle into the bronze hair and whispered in his ear for only him to hear. “Im not the only one who isn’t telling the full story and we both know it!” I moved as swiftly as I could, grabbing my bag, and left the room with a look of victory on my face. So now I knew he wasn’t impervious to me, I did hold some sort of attraction for him, what I wasn’t sure if it was in a meal or a show type of way, was he attracted to me because I was the meal or because I was the after dinner entertainment! But at least I had got some sort of reaction!
I was half way down the hall when the bell notifying the end of lessons rang!

‘Shit! Note to self, don’t wallow in your little victories Kenze you will end up doing something stupid!’

I toyed with the idea of going back to class and making some excuse about throwing up or something as my reason for my early departure of the lesson. But I didn’t want to spoil the fraction of a headway I had got with Edward, by doing so. In the end I accepted that I was probably on course for a detention, and wondered if diplomatic immunity was covered by the student exchange program!

The next few weeks passed in a blur, I was actually starting to think like a teen again. I was hoping that I wouldn’t break out in acne and take to climbing out my bedroom window at all hours of the night!

‘Another story for another night!’


My days were spent in classes learning stuff I had learnt years before, and researching for any hints as to what was going on in my own real non-delusionhead world. That and looking for a more permanent place to stay. I walked around the school not paying much attention to what was going on other than the little band of friends I had gravitated to and who had been pulled to me like orbiting satellites. I on the other hand orbited like the moon around the family that were like the sun to me. I tried to spend a day without looking for them or needing to know exactly where they were. I failed.
Edward had avoided me since our last little run in, which suited me really. I was more able to concentrate when he wasn’t around. A particularly cold morning made me run back into the room and grab an extra jumper before starting the dawn chorus roar of Bella’s truck.
I drove to school taking a bit more care than I usually did. The wheels of the heavy truck swung out dangerously as I hit a patch of ice. I managed to straighten up and made the rest of the journey with out incident.

We were off on some field trip today and I was contemplating ditching and escaping and making intimate friends with my man Jack! But the thought of a JD hangover didn’t sound as fun as it used to.
So I got out the truck cab into the extreme cold of the Forks morning. Turning round I came face to face with Mike Newton. This boy was getting right up my nose; he would rub his hands on me and try to thrust his ever present semi erection at me like some pointer stick lecturers used when ever I was with in groping distance. So seeing him there stood before me trying to do his best James Bond international playboy impression was not welcomed.
I didn’t say anything to him just looked at him. Behind him across the parking lot I saw, Jasper and Alice and Edward walk across the lot. As Edward saw me he stopped, looking over at us.
“So what’s on your mind Mike? “ I asked the Daniel Craig wannabe. He swallowed trying to find the right words.
“It’s the Girls Choice Dance coming up soon, and I was wondering if you wanted to ask me to go with you?” The rhythm of his speech had picked up pace with each word he said. I imagined much like his heart rate.
“That’s really sweet but I thought Girls Choice meant the girl gets to ask? is that right? Or have I gone and got it wrong again?” I giggled as I spoke in the most brainless vapid voice I could muster without vomiting up all over him.
Mike shuffled his feet. “Well yeah, kind of, but I didn’t want you to feel left out, you know with out a date!”

‘I was being offered a mercy date?’

I saw Edward burst out laughing.

“Tempting, but I have other plans, I’m sorry.” I said, no hint of apology in my voice. Edwards laughter had ceased also and I flicked my eyes past Mike to see him stood with his head cocked to one side like he was listening to something.
I looked back to Mike, “It’s a shame really, I love to dance, gives you the opportunity to get up close and personal!” I shot another look over Mikes shoulder. Edward was looking suitably sour.
Mike’s face looked eager and he shuffled a little closer to me. I started to walk across the parking lot backwards “And just so you know, I wouldn’t be without a date,” I turned slightly toward the trio of Cullen’s still stood in the middle of the car park “Edwards taking me out that day!” I looked straight into Edwards’s eyes and winked. Alice let out a spitting half choking snort; Jasper raised his eyebrows, both of them looking at the total look of shock on Edwards face. Alice hadn’t seen that one coming!
Turning back towards Mike again. “One other thing Mike, please stop trying to dry hump me every time you walk past me like some horny little terrier dog! You know what happens to the nasty rampant canines if they don’t?” Mike shook his head dumbly. “They get castrated!!”
With one last wink to Edward I skipped to the bus. Edwards musical laugh ringing in my ears.


I walked into the cafeteria a little unsure how I would be greeted. Mike looked a bit sheepish and turned away from my gaze but Angela and the others made a space for me to sit. I did my usual scan of the room, reassuring myself of their presence but found Edward missing. Alice was speaking and Rosalie and Emmett looked up at me, Rosalie’s expression guarded, Emmett’s delighted! Angela and Jessica were planning a shopping trip into Port Angeles, a little stab of sadness went through me as I thought about mine and Ruby’s retail therapy. Still stuck with dark thoughts Jessica’s asked if I wanted to go with them to help them choose dresses for the dance. I agreed and thanked them for asking me. Maybe it was what I needed and plus I remembered that there had been a bookstore in the town that was worth a visit.
When I got back to the Lodge I showered and changed and waited for Angela and Jessica to arrive. They arrived on time and we set off. It was nice to go and do something as totally mindless as shopping after the few weeks of stress and worry. We all chatted happily on the journey, even Jessica was lighthearted and friendly after Mike had accepted to go to the dance with her. I didn’t tell her that he had asked me already! I didn’t think that would help Anglo-American relations!
Angela was as quietly poised as she always was and didn’t say anything other than she had asked Ben. I was happy for her because she had such a huge heart and I knew that Ben totally adored her, which made him alright in my book.

Port Angeles still held that bit of charm for me and the few references to twilight that had been visible on my last visit, were of course no where to be seen. We went to most of the same stores, but I didn’t recognize one shop assistant and they didn’t show any flickers of recognition to me either.
Both the girls tried on some beautiful dresses and even I was persuaded to try on a full length gown. I had never worn anything like it before. We were near where Angela had told me the book store was so I told the girls I would meet them a bit later. Making sure we had each others cell numbers I went off on my own.
The book shop was amazing, it had so many unique and rare books it smelt old and learn’ed somehow and made you want to whisper. I asked the cheery lady behind the counter if she had heard of an author called Stephenie Myers she shook her head but said she would keep her eye open for any of her work if I recommended her. I told her that she was an excellent writer and her worlds that she wrote about drew you in

. I wasn’t sure how long I sat reading and looking at different books. The woman didn’t seem in any kind of hurry to shut up shop and she seemed more than happy for me to sit in the middle of an aisle reading Jane Ayre. After a time I looked up and noticed that it had gotten dark, it was twilight I thought to myself. I purchased the book along with a couple others and left, saying my thanks as I closed the door. I was looking around trying to see where I needed to go and realized that I was on the wrong side of the town. I set off at a brisk pace my stomach only now making growling noises. I cut behind the boutique I had left the two girls in earlier and stopped dead. There were 5 men and a girl sat and stood in a shop’s back doorway drinking and for a second I felt a twinge of alarm. I ignored the feeling and carried on walking. As I drew level with them, 3 of the men moved forward taking up most of the walkway. I didn’t slow my pace, I just veered off around them. I made sure I didn’t make eye contact and carried on walking. I could hear their laughter and the suggestive remarks all of which didn’t really bother me. I could see the rooftop of the building I was heading for and relaxed slightly. I turned the last corner and found myself In another more run down side street. I turned thinking I had taken a wrong turn or missed one and I saw the 3 men who had been in the doorway before. They quickly circled me and the biggest and drunkest of the trio spoke, his breath smelling of stale beer, cigarettes and an unwashed body!
“Hey pretty lady, where are you off to in such a hurry?”
I eyed him carefully before I answered. “I’m off to meet my friends.” I said as casually as possible.
“Why not stay and party with us?” he said whilst holding the half bottle of cheap whiskey out to me.
“No thanks.” I said. “I’m driving.” I lied.
The three men had closed in around me and had backed me almost up against a wall. The big one got agitated, saying that I thought I was too good for them.

“No,” trying to sound as casual and as unthreatened as I could. “They are expecting me that’s all.” I moved to walk past them. He made a lunge for me and as I stepped back to avoid him I was grabbed at the top of my arm by one of the smaller men. The 3rd was stood back slightly cheering on the other two. As soon as he had laid his hands on me the other 2 closed in close. One reaching for my other arm the other went straight for my chest. He placed a hand tight over my mouth to keep me from screaming, while the other ripped at my jacket and top, trying to reveal the skin beneath. All thoughts of panic dropped away from me, I felt calm and totally calculated. My years of karate had brought me to this point. I relaxed my whole body, but made sure my feet were planted squarely on the ground. I brought my head back slowly, with a smile on my face, the 3 men relaxed fractionally and smiled right on back at me. Thinking I was going to join in their repulsive idea of a party willingly. Then with a speed, force and accuracy they hadn’t thought possible I brought my head forward as hard and as fast as I could on the big ones face. I heard the satisfying crunch of his nose breaking and his yelp of pain.
“Hold her, fucking hold her.” He shouted at his co-horts, one hand holding onto his bloodied nose whilst the other punched me in the face. I saw it coming and was able to turn my head at the last minute so I only caught half the impact.
The pain from the pressure cut I now had above my right eyebrow focused my mind.
I swept my left leg behind me and unbalanced the man who had grabbed my arm, ripping and twisting my arm from his grip I turned and brought my knee with all the force and frustration and anger I had been harboring for the last few weeks and made full contact with his testicles! He dropped to the floor holding his crotch in agony. His strangled scream and the shouts of alarm from the broken nosed man mingled together. I turned to look for the 3rd man; he was now backing away with an uncertain look on his face. I was so angry and so pissed off that I was literally seeing red, so I wasn’t even aware of the silver Volvo as it screeched into view. I wasn’t even aware that it was Edward who put his arms out to me to re assure me, all I wanted was to fight these bastards who had no right to lay their hands on me. Edward turned me and I went to throat punch him thinking it was one of the trio. He blocked my punch easily and before I knew what had happened he had both his arms wrapped around me, pinning my arms to my side. All the time he was talking to me telling me it was alright I was ok now. My 3 attackers on seeing me safely restrained took the opportunity to run. It was then I found my voice, now I screamed in frustration and anger. I sank to the pavement and Edward sank with me too. Not letting go of his hold though he had loosened it as I had stopped struggling so much. I don’t know how long we were sat there like that for. But finally the adrenaline left me totally. Eventually Edward broke his hold and held out his hand to help me up.
I took it and he easily pulled me to my feet.
“Are you sure your ok?” He asked the concern obvious in his voice and on his face.
“I’m fine.” I said not trusting my voice to not quiver to say more.
“Come on get in the car I’ll take you home.” He said gently.
I sat in his car and snuggled down into the leather seats. “Angela and Jessica.” I stated, “I need to let them know where I am.” I quickly dialed Angela’s cell number and trying to sound as calm as I could, apologized for being late and I told them that I was getting a lift home from a friend.
I looked towards Edward and I knew I was going to get told off. I sat with a feeling of resignation knowing it was coming and accepting it.
“What were you thinking Mackenzie? Why on earth did you try to fight?”
“Look Edward, I don’t mean to be rude but I tried to walk away and talk my way out of it, they came off a lot worse than me. They would have been a lot worse off if you hadn’t come along. Anyway, they lost the chance of a peaceful outcome as soon as they touched me.” The anger started to well up in me again. I heard Edward hiss and he slammed on the brakes of the car. “They touched you?” did they hurt you? His own voice had taken on a truly menacing quality. His body had tensed and had the look of a wild animal about to spring at his prey.
He looked me over and saw my torn jacket and top, what can only be described as a growl escaped his lips “You’re bleeding!” He said sounding alarmed and frighteningly quiet at the same time.
“Yeh it’s my eyebrow I think its cut from the punch, I was too slow.” I berated myself absently.
Edward jumped out of the car with a snarl. Shocked, I leaped out after him. He started pacing almost running around the area, this was a side of Edward I had not seen.

“Take my car and drive it to my house.” He ordered. Still pacing.
“Where are you going?” I asked him, though I already knew the answer.
“To take care of some business, no one hurts you. Ever.” His incredibly handsome face was strained at the effort it took to stop from going after the 3 men there and then.
I stood in front of Edward stopping his pacing march and placed both my hands on his chest. He stopped but was looking around wildly like he saw much more than I could possible understand. I needed him to calm down I needed him to listen to me. I placed my hands on his beautiful tortured face, forcing him to look at me. “Please.”
Edward met my eyes, his golden to my grey.
“I need YOU, to take me home Edward, please don’t do what your thinking of doing.”
He pulled back slightly from me, “How could you possibly know what I’m thinking? You have no idea what I’m capable of.”
Pushing my whole body against his, “I know exactly what you are capable of Edward, and I know you won’t leave me when I ask you to stay with me, when I tell you I need you.”

“Please.” My hand moved around his collar behind his neck, my other hand was on his arm, I was looking at his eyes and it felt like I was loosing myself in those golden pools. I lifted my chin and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, my heart was pounding in my ears.
“Please.” I said again as I kissed near the corner of his mouth. Edward was motionless, his arms were not touching me they just hung by his sides. All I could feel was my need, my need for Edward nothing else existed at that minute. His lips were cool and unresponsive and I clenched onto him tighter still, my need for him so great. I ran my tongue gently across his bottom lip; still Edward seemed a million miles away from me. He was a man of ice and I felt the bitter cold of his rejection. Finally knowing that I was beat, I went to release him, his arms suddenly came up around my waist and his lips though they didn’t soften, molded to meet mine. As he returned my kiss ever so gently a groan escaped me as I felt his tongue brush the inside of my own bottom lip. His hand was on my hip, pulling me into his marble like erection. He ran a line of kisses at my throat and it was all I could do to stay on my feet, my whole body was shaking with the need to be his.
His hold on me was getting stronger more urgent as he moved his mouth against mine along my cheek and towards my forehead crushing my hips against him. Suddenly he stiffened and stopped kissing me, though his lips remained in contact with my skin. I opened my eyes and there was such a look of torment and torture on his face, and something I didn’t recognize. I wondered what on earth could be wrong. I went to move away from him, but his arms held me easily where I was. His eyes were fixed and staring, not on my eyes, but on…on the cut I had on my eyebrow that was still bleeding!

‘FUCK’

How stupid I was to have not thought of that, how thoughtless I was to have put Edward through this, how selfish I was. Everything I could berate myself with I did. I deserved whole heartedly whatever Edward did to me and it still wouldn’t be punishment enough for putting him in this awful terrible position.
“Edward?” I said so quietly. “I’m sorry.”
I relaxed totally in his arms and surrendered myself to him, ready to accept the consequence of my own selfish needs. In that moment Edward saw my surrender and sighed. He dropped his forehead to mine and said, “Let’s go home.”

Neither of us spoke, we were both too wrapped up in dealing with our personal demons to attempt to try to offer assistance to the other to fight theirs.
“This is all wrong.” I muttered shaking my head.
“I Know.” Edward replied gently.
I turned to him, not realizing I had spoken out loud. Although I knew that all that was happening was either not supposed to happen or it was supposed to happen with someone else it still felt like a mighty slap in the face to hear Edward agree with me and say it.
“I am sorry Edward for….” ‘For getting bashed up and bleeding all over you and then throwing myself at you and practically begging you to make love to me. For loving you’

“…For what Mackenzie? You have nothing to be sorry about. Its me who should be sorry, I should have stayed away from you like Carlisle said.” His beautiful face troubled as his eyes remained on the road.
“Why would he tell you to stay away from me Edward? I’m basically a good person, full on sometimes, scatty definitely, loyal totally. Honest always.”
“Well almost always.” I amended, “As long as no one is going to be hurt by it.”

I heard his light chuckle and I looked up to see him smiling at me again.
“You really aren’t like any of the kids at school.” He said.
“I’m willing to bet im nothing like anyone you’ve ever met!” I stated.
“No, your not. I wish you would trust me Kenzie.”


Rational thought went out the window for a second as I tried to focus my mind again. All I wanted to hear was him saying my name again. I imagined him calling my name whilst we made love and I had to suppress a moan escaping from my lips.
I managed to pull myself together, ”I trust you Edward, I just don’t think that you would believe me if I told you everything.” I looked out of the window.

‘I don’t think you would want to still be friends if I told you!’

That was probably the real reason why I was putting off telling him the inevitable.

We drove on in silence and before long we were on the outskirts of Forks. We pulled up outside a house and I wondered where we were, until I saw Charlie walk out the front door!
“What are we doing here?” I asked Edward suspiciously.

“I thought it would be best if you weren’t alone tonight.” He said calmly.

“You could have stayed with me!” I said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I don’t think that would have been such a good idea, do you?” He said raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“Actually, I think it would have be a very good idea, but if your just too scared of a girl! Well then….” I sniffed.

“Oh I am very scared of you Mackenzie May Richardson! You have no idea!”

‘Bugger, he always does that!’

I looked between Edward and Charlie and decided that I had no right to pick an argument with Edward now, not after all I had put him through.

“OK, I’m going, I will see you later Edward, and again I’m sorry and thank you, for everything.” I leant over and kissed him on the cheek.

“Sleep well Mackenzie.” Was all I heard as I turned and walked away from him towards the house.

Chief Swan took me inside and explained the Alice had called explaining that something had happened in Port Angeles and that I needed somewhere to stay for the night. She had packed an over night bag for me and dropped it off at the chiefs house not half an hour earlier.

“Thanks for this Chief swan, I would really have been alright though.”

“Just call me Charlie; it makes me feel too old otherwise.”

“OK, Charlie.” I said trying it out. Have you spoken to Bella recently?” I asked.

He shook his head and looked a little sad

. “You miss her.”

“Well, I was just looking forward to seeing her for a bit longer.”

I looked down, feeling my own loneliness a bit more than normal. I wondered what my own family and friends were doing.

“So do you want to tell me what happened in Port Angeles?” Charlie asked. He saw me stiffen at the thought and shake my head.

“well soon, it looks like you’ve been through a bit of an ordeal tonight and well when your ready to talk, I’m here to help. OK?”


“Thanks Charlie.” I answered gratefully. Charlie then changed the subject. After a while I pleaded tiredness and Charlie showed me to my room. I went and washed up and changed into the ridiculously revealing nightwear Alice had packed for me, and went and sat on Bella’s chair. I couldn’t bring myself to sleep in her bed.

I was having a bit of a moral dilemma. I was totally and undeniably in love with Edward, that was the easy part. The thing I wasn’t so sure of was that I didn’t know exactly what Edward was, not in a human/vampire way but in a delusion/dream way. And then of course there was the guilt.
Although in this reality Edward and Bella didn’t have the connection that they had had in the books that I so loved, it still felt like I was almost 2 timing Bella with Edward. That all the things that were going on were in fact the things that should be occurring with Bella and that I was a dangerous intruder.

I walked around Bella’s room and tried to see a bit of the person she was, but there weren’t really any hints I had no epiphany, it was a 17 year old girls room, no more no less.

I sat thinking about the events that had brought me here and there were things that didn’t seem right, things that bothered me It seemed like I was living the story but so many differences and I wondered if I was correct in assuming that the outcome of the books was going to be the way my delusion head played this out, or if I could actually be in real danger here. And if I was in danger what would that mean for my real life body? So many things confused me, I was even acting different to who I thought I actually was. one of the things that was bothering me was actually a passing comment Carlisle had made. I was trying to remember what we had spoken about when I had come round in the hospital my head was so fuzzy at the time. He had said that I was lucky …no broken bones…good job Edward was there…Edward was there!
That was it; The Kalaloche Lodge was on Quileute Land, so what about the treaty? Was their even a treaty? I needed answers and I needed to stop pussy footing around. I closed my eyes resting them, my body bruised and battered and my head even more so. The next thing I knew it was morning.