Thursday, 22 April 2010

Chapter 5

Theres lots of strong language and lemons in my story, please dont read if you are easily offended!

I do not own anything, all things Twilight belong to Stephenie Myers.

The trouble within

I had spoken to Charlie in the morning declining his offer to stay permanently at the house. It would have been so easy to slip into that role and I think we both would have enjoyed the company, but I couldn’t bring myself to encroach on any more of Bella’s space. He did offer a compromise that I thought would be workable though .A friend of Billy Black, Jacobs’s dad, had a small hunting cottage out in the woods off of the main highway. The property backed onto Charlie's house and would mean that we would both be able to have a bit of company if we wished.
“Billy said that his pal won’t want much for rent.” Charlie informed me. Though I had realized by now that money wasn’t an issue here. If I had wanted I could have continued to stay at the Lodge.
“It’ll need a bit of fixing up but I can always give you a hand.” He finished gruffly.
I instinctively went and hugged him. “Thanks Charlie, this is the best news.”
Charlie blushed the colour of fresh tomato’s, but puffed out his chest and said his goodbye as he went off to work.

I called the number Charlie had given me and recognized Jacob's voice on the other end.
I was genuinely pleased to hear him and he seemed happy that I was going to take on the cabin. He said that he would let Billy know and get it sorted with his hunting buddy. I agreed that I would meet me there this weekend. I thanked him and we said goodbye. Checking that I had everything in place before I left, I jotted the instructions for the casserole I had left for Charlie to have for his dinner.

‘Dear Charlie,
Thanks for everything, I have spoken to Jacob and I am meeting them at the cabin this weekend. You have a casserole for dinner in your slow cooker, just serve!
Love Kenzie x’

Feeling a bit happier than I had last night I jumped in the truck and went to school. I pulled into the car park and saw Emmett’s 4x4 but didn’t see Edwards silver Volvo. I looked around for him most of the morning, but he didn’t show up. When it got to lunch time and he still wasn’t there, my head was about to explode with worry. I decided that I needed to know that he didn’t go back out looking for those 3 men last night and the only ones who could tell me where the rest of the Cullen’s. Grabbing my usual drink and apple I said hi to the table of my friends as I walked past them. They all clocked the direction I was heading in and as one their heads swiveled round to look.

“Waiting for the carnage no doubt!” I said under my breath.

As I got closer 4 pairs of golden eyes looked at me. Alice and Emmett's were welcoming, Jaspers were a little guarded, and Rosalie’s were downright hostile!
“Hi, is anyone sat here?” Nodding my head in the direction of the empty seat. Alice answered quickly before Rosalie could. ”Hi, nope be our guest.” I flashed a smile at Alice and thanked her for dropping my car and a bag over to the chief’s house.

“You’re welcome,” she said lightly. “I hope you had everything you needed; I didn’t see that you would need anything else.”

I noticed the slip she had made by saying see, but I didn’t mention it. Alice had probably said that on purpose anyway, because it was hard to imagine this perfect little pixie girl making any mistake at all.

“It was great, thanks for doing that for me.”

Alice chatted idly for a few minutes, I glanced over to Rosalie and she took the opportunity to speak.

“What do you want?” just like that. No pre-amble, just straight in. I stopped eating my apple and assessed the situation, these weren’t school kids and well, they were all too old to play games. Well I wasn’t a school kid either!

“Did Edward go back to Port Angeles to kick the shit out of those arseholes?”

Emmett choke laughed, Jaspers eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline, Alice smiled and Rosalie just stared. I’m sure Alice was about to launch into some well rehearsed story, but I cut her off.

“Look I realize that you probably don’t want me around your brother and that I’m causing him all sorts of problems, I understand all that, but I need to know if he’s ok.”

Rosalie's voice brought my eyes to her lovely face. “What would you do if I said that we won’t tell you? What could you do?”

I thought about her question for a minute before answering “well I could try kicking all your butts but I have a feeling that that won’t get me very far. I could scream my head off and cause a scene, but you would probably enjoy the attention!”

Rosalie's eyes became hard as steel.

“Or I could appeal to your better nature and just ask you to tell me because it’s the right thing to do and because I really do care about him and I’m really worried incase he does something silly, which none of us wants. And probably most importantly, I’m not going to stop bugging you until I get a fricking answer!”

Alice, Jaspers and Emmett's gaze turned to Rosalie.
Her stare was on me and I could feel its force burning into my skull. I forced my self to continue eating my apple as casually as I could and to make myself look like I was there for the duration. I never let my gaze move from hers though. All of a sudden Rosalie's mouth started to turn up in the faintest hint of a smile. “Your either very brave or very stupid, but I understand what your saying, so no, Edward didn’t go after those men, though it took all of Esme’s and Carlisle’s persuasion. Carlisle took him, away for the day, to do some father son stuff.” She finished.

Feeling so relieved I thanked her and picked up my lunch things and said my farewells to all of them.

“We’ll see you soon though Kenzie.” Alice said. It was a statement, not a question. It left me wondering what she knew that I didn’t. Then I thought probably everything.


The next day I was sick. I hadn’t slept well, too much going over in my head. Too many things to worry about with Edward and then too much guilt about Bella and of course my own family and friends. It seemed the longer I was here the more settled into this life I became, but was this life mine? Or was I actually loosing myself? I contemplated what staying here would mean, I wondered if that were the case would I be dead in my old life and if it did mean that, could I bring myself to do that? It would all depend on Edward I was silly to think otherwise. If Edward wished me to stay then I would stay. If he needed me to go then I would go and let things be the way that they were written to be. So when I woke up feeling feverish and weak I wasn’t surprised, just annoyed as I had a lot to sort out and each day could be my last there. That thought scared me.

The weekend came and went and far from feeling better I actually felt worse. As was with most nurses I didn’t make a good patient so I turned my phone off and medicated myself and tried to sleep off the flu virus. At some point my temperature must have got fairly high because I was sure that I could hear Ruby talking to me, telling me about a dress that she had bought and how she couldn’t wait for me to see it.

By Monday I crawled out of bed and got ready for school. I was feeling slightly better but I felt as week as a kitten. My knees were wobbling like a new born foal as I walked to the truck. As I pulled into the school parking lot I felt relieved that I had made it to school safely. I got out the truck and waved perfunctually to Tyler’s shouts of “Hi.”
I was concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other as I walked across the parking lot. There was a screech of brakes and a shout and something hit me hard, to the floor. I thought that the vehicle must have hit me and was pinning me down as I couldn’t move. I realized through my daze that it was Edward. People were around me all talking at once, but the only voice I heard was Edwards “Are you trying to get yourself killed?” He demanded of me. I looked around confused by everyone.
“I’m fine.” I assured the circle of people. As I got up gingerly and Edward picked up my bag he told me that he would walk me to my class. Once people were sure that they weren’t missing any blood and guts they dispersed quickly to class. I stopped to get my bearings but it felt strange, I couldn’t quite remember where I was supposed to be going. Edward was still ranting about my Bronsonesque death wish until he noticed that I was not retaliating in my usual feisty manner. For the first time since he’d dumped me to the ground he looked concerned instead of cross. He lifted my chin with his hand and looked at my face.

“Mackenzie, what’s wrong, are you ill?” even in my weakened state I couldn’t admit to him that I was poorly, I couldn’t show any weakness I couldn’t let him see just how pathetically dependant on him I was.
“It’s just a cold, ill be ok once I get inside” I murmured. I could feel his hands on my arm and around my shoulder directing me but I had closed my eyes by this time, feeling totally safe now that Edward was there. I felt the strength of Edwards’s body as he sat me somewhere and I let out a contented sigh as a familiar blackness enveloped me. This time I welcomed it, I encouraged it, all the things that were wrong here in this reality, were wrong because of me. It was easy really, once I was gone, everything would go back to the way it should be.
“you can be with Bella now, without me being in the way.” I said. Before the blackness totally claimed me. I thought I heard someone somewhere beg to not be left, but that was all, the blackness, my old friend welcomed me back and shut out all else.

I was so thirsty, my throat felt like it had had sand poured down it. My lips were dry and as I went to lick them to moisten them, I was horrified to note that my tongue was as dry as my lips were. I opened my eyes fully and groaned at the pain in the back of my head. I attempted to lift my head up and it was then that I noticed where I was and that I wasn’t alone. Edward saw me move and jumped to my side “Hello you!” he said quietly.
“Hello you too” I answered him in my thick rusty voice. I pulled myself into a sitting position and made a grab for the water by the side of the bed. Edward got to it before I did and held the cup as I drank from the straw. “Thanks.” I croaked out. Edward didn’t reply just nodded. “I’m really sorry about that, I don’t mean to be a bother.” I admitted.

“Don’t do that.” Edward stated firmly. I looked at him confused. “You apologize for your every move Mackenzie, like your apologizing for being ill, that’s just silly.”

I had to stop myself for the automatic apology that was about to pass my lips. I looked down at my knotting hands instead. I took in my surroundings properly now, I was back in Bella’s bedroom in Charlie's house.
“How’d I get here?” I asked him.

“I brought you; you weren’t exactly up to driving!” He told with a wry smile.

“Does Charlie know I’m here?”

“Yes, he suggested it.” I nodded my understanding. My eyelids were starting to drop over my eyes again, and Edward made to get up and go. I grabbed for his hand, feeling the comforting coolness of his skin, paying no attention to the way he tried to lightly pull out of my grip, I held onto his hand tightly.

“Please don’t go yet. Stay with me a little while?”

He allowed me to hold onto his hand and sat back down besides me. I smiled dreamily as I drifted off to sleep holding Edwards’s hand.

I woke again in the early hours of the morning and happily noted Edward still sat there watching me and still holding my hand.

“Why didn’t you wake me, you must be so uncomfortable.” I whispered.

“I can sit still for a lot longer than this Mackenzie and have no worry about moving.” He told me.

“Oh, right OK” I agreed without question.

He chuckled and had a curious look on his face.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him.

“Well just for a girl who searches out answers to so many different things, at times you puzzle me by your easy acceptance of other things that should spike your curiosity!”

“Look, I think we both know that neither of us is exactly in the ‘Normal’ category. Let’s just leave it at that for the moment.” I suggested.

Edward agreed but didn’t stop looking at me with that slightly weird expression.

As dawn broke Edward said that he needed to go before Charlie came to say goodbye.
“I don’t want Charlie to find me here; I don’t think he would be too happy!”

“Thanks for staying with me Edward, and for looking after me….Again!”
I felt slightly embarrassed by how I had become so weak and feeble!
“Will you come and see me tonight?” I asked, not wanting to sound as needy as I felt. “Yes Kenzie, I will see you later.” He squeezed my hand as a way of parting, but not satisfied I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him with all my strength. He stiffened at first but finally relaxed and hugged me back gently and nuzzled my hair. I was sure I heard him smell my hair! The fragrance that came from him was beyond anything I could describe. It was like everything I liked most in the world all wrapped up in an oratory harmony made just for my senses. My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest and my hands wound themselves into the hair at the nape of Edwards’s neck. Reluctantly Edward took hold of my arms and extricated himself gently but firmly from my grasp.
“I’ll see you later. Try to rest.” He briefly touched his cool lips to my forehead and then left.
My body immediately ached for him; it felt a huge hole where he had been stood moments before.
My forehead was hot where his lips had brushed so feather like, spreading warmth outwards. I sighed and wondered what I was going to do today. After a quick tidy up, which was all I could physically manage, much to my disgust, I decided to read, I sat down to continue reading Jane Eyre. I must have read only a couple of chapters before my eyes closed wearily and I was asleep.

That evening when I had excused myself to Bella’s room, I was feeling much better. Still weak, but the raging temperature that had been burning through my body, seemed to have almost gone. I was sat on the bed reading again, when Edward appeared as if out of no where. I looked at him and smiled but didn’t mention his instantaneous entrance. This seemed to upset him more than if I had made a big thing out of it.

“Hello Edward.”

“Hello Mackenzie!”

“How was school?” I enquired. Putting my book down.

“It was fine, your friends were concerned about you though, even braved asking Alice how you were.”

I smiled and nodded, guessing that they chose to ask Alice instead of any of the other Cullen’s as she probably seemed the most approachable to them!

“I’ve brought you some homework so you won’t get behind.”

“Gee, thanks Edward remind me again why I like you?” I said sarcastically. His rich warm laughter helped to ease the thought of the homework. Knowing I would crawl 15 miles over broken glass just to get hear his laughter again.

“I’ll be at school again tomorrow.” Not looking at Edward as I didn’t want to see the disapproving look that would be there. “Plus,” I carried on. “I can’t stay in Bella’s house any longer. It’s really messing with my head.”

“What is this fascination with Bella Swan?” Edward asked all curious.

“I’m not fascinated; I just don’t like to intrude in her home.” And her heart.
Edward didn’t seem satisfied with this and he tried to push the issue.
“No there’s more to this, I know there is.”

“You seem so sure of so many things Edward. I wonder how you can ever be that sure about anything?” I looked at him knowing that in trying to steer him away from my own confessions I was heading him towards his.
Looking at him I forced a smile. “I’m tired Edward. I think I’ll go to bed now.” Not asking him to stay, I almost dismissed him as he had done to me the other night.

“See you at school Edward, have a good night.” I lay on Bella’s bed and faced away from him. It was only a second and I felt the loneliness envelope me, turning quickly to ask him to stay, I faced an empty room. Edward had already left silently.


I was up and in school early the next morning. I felt stronger than I had in about a week and I wondered how much of that was due to me having a plan of action. I knew what I needed to do. It was the not knowing if I was going to Edward again that made me so tetchy and irritable. I had challenged myself to stay away from him, feeling that we could both do with some breathing space.
I ran into the school office and handed in the work I had been doing that took me at least a month in advance of my course work. I explained that I needed to have some field study time and the letters I had typed on Charlie's old computer looked genuine enough. They didn’t really have much to say about it as I was as far as they knew 22 years of age and I had completed that terms work. So they agreed to my short sabbatical.

I ran back out to the car park and jumped into the truck. As I pulled out the lot I caught site of the silver Volvo turning in. I smiled as naturally as I could and waved, but I didn’t let my gaze linger on Edwards face. I saw the other Cullen faces looking at me briefly before I was past them and away.
The road out of Forks towards Seattle was like any other mountain highway. It was beautiful and on any other day I would have enjoyed the scenic drive. Not today though. Today I was on a mission. My small bag was packed and I had my purse with all my documents in it. About half an hour into my journey the rain started. The wipers on Bella’s truck had to work overtime and still they didn’t clear the screen sufficiently. I slowed my speed to allow for better visibility. Cars had started to put on their lights despite the fact that it was only mid morning.
I reached to turn the heater on, and my eyes must have drifted off the road for a second as with a crunching and screeching and scraping of gravel the truck bounced onto the hard shoulder of the road. I righted it ok but it was evident that something wasn’t quite right. I stopped, Switching on the hazard lights, jumped out of the cab. The nearside back tire was flat. I looked under the hood where I found a spare. A growl of frustration left my lips as I noted the totally flat side to the punctured spare.

‘Fuck it, why me?’

I climbed back into the trucks cab and hunted for my phone. The little green bars that told me how my reception was were showing me what I already knew, that I was in the middle of no where with no cell phone coverage any decade soon!

“This can not be happening!!” I shouted at the sky as I launched my cell phone across the cab onto the floor. I sat for about 20 minutes watching the rain fall torrentially. In the end I decided to hike it back to the gas station I had passed a little way back. I reasoned that it would probably take me about an hour to walk the 3 miles or so I had calculated it to be.
I grabbed the only jacket that I had with me and pulled my beanie down over my ears. Throwing all the important documents into my shoulder bag, I slung it over my shoulder and climbed out the relative warm and dry of the trucks cab.

I hadn’t been walking for 5 minutes and already the front faces of my jeans were wet through. The jacket wasn’t offering me any protection and was slicked to my body. As I walked my boots squelched with each step. Rivulets of water were running down my back between my shoulder blades and down my front in the valley between my breasts. With each step my mood got blacker and blacker and I moaned to myself punctuating each squelching footstep with one profanity or another. The rumbles of thunder I heard in the distance did nothing to brighten my mood. I noticed that I hadn’t seen any other cars pass me in a long time.
“Probably all too sensible to be out in this weather!”

Eventually I saw the gas station up ahead; the lights were out now though. They had been on as I had passed it earlier. I wondered if it might have a power cut due to the storm, and hoped that their phone still worked. Finally I got to the door, it all looked pretty empty. I was praying that someone was still here and that they hadn’t all gone home to sit out the weather. I knocked on the glass door and shouted “Hello. Anyone there?” As I knocked again harder this time the door bumped to, it wasn’t locked after all! Feeling like a total idiot I pushed open the door and walked in. There didn’t appear to be anyone around.

It was strangely eerie walking through the rows of produce in the dim light. I made my way to the rear of the shop where the counter was. Still no sign of anyone. I saw the phone and breathed a sigh of relief as I sped the last steps to reach it. As I picked up the receiver the dial tone made me let out an audible “Yes!” at least that was working, my luck must be changing. I wondered who I should call and surprised my self by dialing Jakes number. It rang twice before his voice answered. “Sup?”
“Hi Jake, its Kenzie,” relief flooding my tone. “Sorry to bother you but I need your help.”

“Hey Kenze, what trouble you got into now?” he asked only half jokingly.

I was about to give him a telling off when I heard a noise from behind the counter.
Ignoring Jakes continued assassination of my good character I looked around sharply before peeking over the service counter. I couldn’t see anything from there so I needed to go around.

“Jake, wait a second, something’s not right here, I’ve got to put the phone on the counter for a second, and I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Ok.” Jake said sensing my unease.

Checking over my shoulder as I went, I poked my head round the corner of the service hatch. I couldn’t see anything so took a step inside. There it was again, the sound was like someone moaning in pain. It was a sound I had heard many times in my career and my body went onto automatic pilot. I marched forwards to where the sound was coming from. Just at the doorway to what looked like a stock room I saw the ankle and foot of someone laid out on the floor. Grabbing the phone up again. I said “Jake there’s been an accident, someone’s hurt I need you to call an ambulance for me.”

“Ok fine where are you?” He asked worry in his tone.

“Im not sure…but im on the main highway in a gas station…” “Jake, Jake can you hear me?”

“Kenze, Kenzie where are you? Say it again; I didn’t hear what you said... Kenze, Mackenzie…”

“Jake, Jacob?” Nothing the phone had gone dead.

I hung up the phone quickly and went to the person on the floor. Without touching them, I tried to see if I could tell what had happened. There was a huge lump on the temple of the middle aged mans head that was turning a vivid dark purple and there was a small pool of blood that could possibly be coming from his ears. He looked pale and only like he was this side of alive.

As I fell to my knees I saw the wound in his neck and collar area properly. It was close to the carotid artery but luckily had missed by a fraction; otherwise he would have been dead already. I jumped up and ran down the aisles of the shop trying to find medical supplies. I found some travel first aid boxes and grabbed as many as I could and ran back to him. He was wearing a store badge which happily announced he was Jim and he was Happy to Help!

Wadding up some of the dressings I pushed them hard into the wound, there was no way I could get enough leverage for pressure so I had to manually apply the pressure needed to stem the flow of the blood. I was talking to the semi-conscious man, telling him that help was on its way. The mans eyes flickered open briefly and a look of horror was in them that frightened me. His pulse was growing weaker and I knew if he didn’t get blood soon he would die. Trying to think what I could use to transfuse him myself and of course coming up with nothing, I was praying that Jake had heard me though I hadn’t heard him.

Only a couple of minutes later the mans pulse had almost stopped. I sat amidst the bloodied surgical dressings and could not understand how this man could be dying like this. He must have sustained some severe internal injuries because the blood that he had lost wasn’t enough for him to have lost his hold on life so quickly. Feeling totally dejected and useless I sat and took his hand in my own. I wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone, and that someone was with him, and that I may be a stranger but I fought for his life as I would fight for my own. As the last breath left him a single tear rolled down my cheek, falling onto his fingers. I saw a wedding ring and I wondered if he had children, and who would tell his wife and family that their loved one wouldn’t be coming home.

“Well that was almost as good as getting to drain him!” said a deadly musical voice from behind me. I jumped round quickly, my eyes widening in fear.


The wound in the mans neck, the lack of blood, it all made sickening sense now. These vampires’ eyes were not the beautiful golden amber of Edwards’s family, they glowed scarlet. I was in real trouble this time.

The vampire that was stood in front of me was curiously androgynous. I couldn’t tell if they were male or female. Though they had the flawless beauty I would expect from a vampire, they held none of the appeal and beauty and grace that any of the Cullen’s had.
My every instinct was screaming at me to flee, to run away and hide.

The vampire casually walked closer to me. Seeming to enjoy the minute changes my body went through the more scared I got. I moved every time the vampire took a step, trying to keep the counter between us, knowing in actuality that that would be no barrier or deterrent for this animal.

“Mmm, you smell good, I’m going to enjoy you.” The look of hunger intensifying in the blood red eyes.

Trying not to take my eyes off of my attacker, I took another step towards the stock room door hoping that the iron panic room would be a suitable fire break to allow me to get another call out to someone, anyone.

The vampire was still talking it up, obviously a fan of the drama! “How unfortunate for you to drop in here right when I was feeding. It’s been such slim pickings recently, none of them smelt as good as you!

I was nearly at the stock room doors when in a single breath the vampire was upon me. I felt its body pushed hard against me and knew finally that I was dealing with a male. If a very feminine one at that.

“So im guessing that your going to make a big song and dance out of this?” I brazened.

“Coz I bet you were a real pain in the arse when you were human.” The vampire’s eyes became frosty even with the blood blazing through them.

There was no way I could physically fight this animal, I had to think of another way. If I was going to die here, I was going to make sure that at the very least I was the most unpleasant meal that monster would ever have.

“What’s up sugar? Can’t find a mate? Must be lonely wandering alone like you do?” I said conversationally.

“Still I’m sure the Volturi won’t mind if I don’t turn up for work after my vacation.”

A look of concern flittered across that flawless face. I was gambling hugely that this vamp knew what I was talking about and it hinged on there being the Volturi here, in this reality. Judging by the none too confident look on the vampires face I was guessing that they probably did exist here.
I silently thanked all things holy and pushed on.

“What did you say your name was?”

“I didn’t, say me name.” the vampire told me in a hiss.

“Only I was going to write this down, you know so that you and I could be remembered. You never know they may write a book about you one day.”

“My name is Isaac.” He replied grandly. Enjoying the spotlight moment despite himself.

“Well Isaac, if I was going to go I’m glad it was by you.” Isaac puffed out his non existent chest.

“Because Aro had me earmarked, but between you and me, he had such bad breath.”

Again the mention of Aro and the volturi halted Isaac. I could see different emotions related to his differing options flash across his face. Did he want to risk going against the volturi directly, was I worth it?
In the end a look of resignation crossed his face.

“What do the likes of Aro and his underling have to do with me? I answer to no one. I will be long gone by the time someone finds you.”

He held me solidly. This time all the talking and fighting had gone from me.

“I see your not so chatty now are you bitch?” His fingers gauged deep nail marks into my arms.

“I hope I fucking poison you, you son of a bitch!” I screamed in his face. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he moved in to bite. I closed my eyes and said sorry to all the people I loved and was leaving. I felt his breath as he opened his mouth. I was going to die.


I waited for the pain to come, but it didn’t. I opened my eyes and saw Isaac hovering, mouth open over my neck. His eyes had a far away look in them, like he was listening for something. Finally content that everything was ok his attention returned to me. He relaxed and once again prepared to drain me.

The sound that Isaac made as he hit the floor was deafening. I was frozen to the spot bodies appeared to come from out of no where. Alice was stood in front of me.
“Mackenzie, we need to leave now. Kenzie please, we have to go...” she begged urgently.

“Alice, get her out of here.” Edward ordered. I looked up realizing what was happening. Edward had tackled Isaac to the floor and Emmett was now holding the red eyed vampire along with Edward. The look of anger on Edwards face scared me but thrilled me as well. Alice took my hand and dragged me out of the store. I could hear shouts and screams from inside and fear for Edward and Emmett made me try to return. “Mackenzie if I don’t get you out of here right now I am going to be in so much trouble, now I don’t want to hurt you but WE HAVE TO GO!”
This sounded so ridiculous coming from the tiny girl who was barely up to my shoulder, but I knew not to underestimate her and finally got into Rosalie’s car. Jasper was driving and didn’t say anything as I got in the back seat. Alice got in beside Jasper and we set off away from the gas station at a frightening pace. I kept looking back, worry for Edward and the Emmett all over my face.
“They’re going to be ok Mackenzie, you don’t need to worry.” Alice said correctly reading my face. I nodded, but didn’t say anything.
Jasper drove me back to the truck and I got out of Rosalie’s car and got back into the familiar cab.

When Alice went to get in the cab with me I rudely asked to be left on my own.
“We’re in the car behind you if you need us.” She said ignoring the slight and smiled at me as she laid a gentle hand on my arm before she went back to the other car and Jasper. It was perhaps half an hour later when I heard the deep rumble of Emmett’s 4x4. I heard car doors opening and closing and eventually the cab passenger door opened and Edward jumped in gracefully. Before he was sat properly I had propelled myself at him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. Clinging to him like he was my life raft, not ever wanting to let go. “Are you all ok?” I demanded still not relinquishing my hold.
“We’re all fine Kenzie; everyone is on their way home.”

“Good!” I said still trying to press myself into Edward.
“We’re going to need to get you some new tires for the truck but I will sort that for you later. For now I will take you home in my car.”
I grabbed what I needed and got out the truck. Edward looked briefly at my overnight suitcase, but didn’t mention it. And 5 minutes later we were on the road heading back towards Forks.

Before we got into town Edward pulled into a lay by and turned off the engine. I sat looking at him, wondering why we had stopped but not wanting to speak first.
“Don’t you want to ask me?” Edward almost snapped out after a while.

“Ask you what?” looking to him confused.

“Oh Mackenzie, I would have thought you would have a thousand questions!”

“No not really.”

Edward looked unconvinced.

“Well actually there is one question.” I said looking straight into his heart stopping eyes.
“I thought that there would be.” He stiffened his shoulders, looking like he was preparing to go to war. “What did you want to know Mackenzie?” He asked me sadly, but with a resigned expression.

“What took you so long?” I blurted out, not able to hide the catch in my voice.

“What took me so long? You want to know what took me so long?” he almost chortled!

“That’s what I said. I thought I was toast for a second there.”
The look of total disbelief hung on his face for seconds

“Can you tell me what happened to you first, can you tell me exactly as it happened?” Edward tried again. I could see that he was gathering information of how much I had witnessed before he told me anything that was unnecessary for him to tell me.

“Ok.” I allowed. I spent the next 10 minutes explaining how I had got a flat tire and how I had stopped. I couldn’t hide my anger at the phone or my disgruntled expression at having to walk through the pouring rain. I didn’t say anything about why I was on the road to Seattle or why I had a case with me. I told him about how I had found Jim and how I had tried to save him but despite my efforts he had died. Edward looked like he was going to ask me his own question on that matter, but decided against it and I carried on. I then explained that was when Isaac had jumped me.

“Shit! I phoned Jake for help I think Isaac cut the phone wire on me. I’d better call him and let him know im ok.”

Edward looked a bit sulky but agreed passing me his own phone. I called Jake, sketching over what had happened and I assured him I was ok, I hung up promising to visit him tomorrow.

“You really are a full time responsibility.” He said not angrily.

“Edward I’m not your responsibility, I can make my own mistakes without any help at all. Half the time I don’t know if you’re running from me or towards me. You tell me one thing and then act in the totally opposite way. You shrink away when I touch you, yet you seek to protect me. I’ll admit it, I really don’t know where I am with you. So my apologies for being a pain in the arse”

He took my hand in his own. The coolness of his skin igniting the paradox of flames on mine. “I feel very protective of you, I get very…anxious when I don’t know where you are and if your safe or not.” He looked into my eyes and begged with my soul not to push the point.
“So how did you find me Edward?”

He looked from my eyes out the window and back to my gaze.
Edward was trying desperately to find a way of explaining what had just happened and in the end I couldn’t bare to watch him struggle.

“Look Edward, let’s cut the bullshit shall we?” His eyebrows rose up in surprise and a flash of uncertainty crossed his beautiful features.

“I know what Isaac was. Does that help?”

Edwards’s eyes opened wider warily. “And what exactly was that?” He had picked up on my usage of the past tense.

“He wanted to drain my blood Edward; he had drained most of Jims already. He would have finished the job if I hadn’t come along and interrupted him.”

My casual acceptance of this baffled and even angered him. He was struggling to find words. “Doesn’t this knowledge freak you out?” he asked. Not finding a better way of putting it I guessed.

“Someone really smart once told me that it’s not what we are that matters, its what we do that shapes us. I really believe that Edward. It’s those choices that we make every day that make us into the people we are.”
“I know what you are Edward and I know what all your family are.”
The look of total shattering despair on Edwards face nearly broke my heart. Not releasing his hand, “I know what you and your family are,” I repeated. “You are good, kind, decent people, nothing else matters.”

If you weren’t I couldn’t have possibly fallen in love with you. I said to myself.

I brought his hands to my lips and kissed them gently, savoring the smell and the taste and the feel of him.
His incredulous look made my breath catch in my throat.

I loved him, I loved Edward Cullen and I didn’t know how long I would get to be with him but for now that was enough.

Edward eventually found his voice.” You don’t know what you’re saying; you don’t know what I’ve done in the past.” He still seemed stuck in the thought that I hadn’t fully grasped what he was.

“Edward I get it, but that has absolutely no bearing on how I feel about you.”
He gasped, shocked at the throw away nature of my last statement. For many minutes he stared into my eyes trying to read something in them. Eventually in defeat “You don’t know what you’re saying.

“I know exactly what I’m saying Edward and I know that you and your family wouldn’t hurt anyone, let alone me. I know what you are and I know what I’m saying and you had better get used to it because frankly im too tired to keep fighting.”


That’s why things had been so off! I was just fighting the wrong things all the time, that’s why I was having such bad luck here. At least that was my theory.

I wrapped my hands around Edwards’s strong shoulders and gently placed my lips towards him. “I’m going to kiss you Edward so be warned, do what you have to do, I just want you to know. It doesn’t matter you feel the same as me but I can live with that.”

I placed my mouth over his, his breath sweet and his lips so cool; it was the most gentle, most innocent, most emotion fuelled of kisses I had ever experienced. I sighed into his mouth and pulled away before my raging need over rode my wish to be sensible for Edward.

A look of total bewilderment was on his face, but the worry frown that had seemed to almost always be present had gone.

We drove the rest of the way to Charlie’s house in silence. I didn’t take my eyes from his face.

For what seemed a lifetime we sat just looking at each other. Eventually Edward asked. “You do know what your saying don’t you? You do realize what you’re getting mixed up with?”

“Yes Edward I know, now if it’s ok with you I need to go to bed. I got out the car and shut the door without another word and made my way inside.

I ripped up the note I had left for Charlie earlier on in the day and scribbled another quick note saying I was tired and that I was going to bed and that I would see him in the morning. Edward hadn’t followed me indoors but I wasn’t surprised to see him sat on the bed as I entered the bedroom.

“You could have used the front door this time Edward!” nodding towards the door.

“Force of habit.” He said a bit distracted. I told Edward to wait and I went across the hall into Charlie's bathroom. I stripped off the clothes that were stained with Jim’s blood and ran quickly downstairs and put them in the washer before Charlie could see them. Running back upstairs I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, looking at the dark circles that were evident under my own grey eyes. So much had happened and so much I couldn’t explain. I pulled the plug out of the basin watching the water swirl its way down the drain, raising my eyes to the mirror again I saw Edward stood in the doorway of Bella’s bedroom staring at my near naked form.

‘shit. I always forget to shut the bathroom door!’

Stood there with my back to Edward in only my knickers and bra, I may have well been naked. His eyes seared across every inch of my body. I didn’t really have any body issues I was what I was, but I had never been examined and looked at in the way that Edward now looked at me. I was sure with his keen vampire eyes he was able to see my very pores and every imperfection in my skin. I turned to face him brazenly, and looked directly into his eyes trying to ignore the hunger that was very evident there. This time I knew that my own hunger was a match for his, my appetite was not for food but for Him. My breath caught in my throat and made my chest heave as I took in a shuddering breath. Edwards’s eyes moved to my breasts and the swell of them over the edge of my bra. I followed Edwards gaze down and was horrified to note I had on a pair of men’s boxers

‘Fuck there goes my seductress image’

Feeling for the first time uncomfortable I turned away, back to the mirror, in the fraction of a second it took for me to do this Edward appeared directly behind me. He was stood so close that I could feel the electricity jump from my body to his and back again. I looked at him in the mirror with his head slightly bowed staring at the pulse that was thrumming in my neck. Almost sensing my gaze he looked up into the mirror and saw me staring at him. Every cell in my body wanted to melt itself into Edward, his body was as close as anyone would get without there being any physical contact what so ever. His eyes were half closed but they sparkled with the golden flecks that I had noticed before.

He inhaled along the side of my head and I watched in fascination as the tip of his tongue came from the shelter of his divine mouth and lapped at his lips. As close as I was I saw the moisture trail left by the exquisite movement.
I moaned ever so gently, my own tongue mirroring his movements and licking my bottom lip. My heart was pounding a rhythm that reverberated through my chest down through my diaphragm and hit my pelvis with repetitive thumps, making my knees become severely in danger of collapsing. My body had started to sway now and I knew that I was in serious sensory overload. I took another shuddering breath and several strands of my hair fell over my eyes. Edward looked at the hair like it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen, he raised a long beautiful hand to tuck the wayward strand out of the way as I had wanted to do to him on so many occasions. His hand grazed the tip of my left nipple fractionally, like a feather falling

The shock wave of sensations that erupted from that accidental touch nearly brought me to my knees. I staggered, falling back towards Edward. Instinctively he put out his arms to catch me and as soon as his arms were around me and his hands were on me I could no more stop than I could stop myself from breathing. I twisted about in his arms facing him again. My arms remained at my sides but I lifted my chin and placed my lips on his. There was no hesitation this time from Edward and I exulted in the feel of his kiss deepening as he pushed my lips apart with his tongue. I let out a gasp into his mouth as a cool hand was placed on my back pulling me into him, the electric shocks as each pore met his body sent me spinning in a new round of sensation. His hand moved down my back, eliciting another audible gasp.
I thrust my pelvis forwards and was met by the extraordinary size and hardness of Edwards’s arousal. My hand moved of its own accord wanting to envelope his erection. As I made contact with him it was Edwards turn to moan! My fingers ran along the feel of the shaft through Edwards jeans. He was from a different era but I knew that he was not an island and he was no novice in what he did to me with that kiss.

The sound of him talking was deliciously musical, the sound of him moaning in sexual pleasure almost sent me over the edge, my knees buckled and I almost ended up in a heap at his feet. I wanted to be nearer to him I wanted to have him fill me, I didn’t want to be a separate entity from him any longer, my need was about to overtake me, kissing Edward my tongue dancing across the edges of his own tongue, I was lost, I was reborn I was nothing without him, no person had the right to feel what I was feeling, but I wanted more, my hand reached into the waistband of his jeans and traced a line across his cool skin, his breaths were coming in short sharp gasps, almost animal in their nature, I looked up into Edwards eyes with all the love I could show and undid his jeans button…

“NO” he pushed away from me and I found myself almost falling again, but alone in the bathroom, whilst Edward was facing me like I was the enemy, from the window in Bella’s bedroom. Edwards’s eyes were hooded and dark, and his breaths rasping as he stared at me his hands gripping onto the window sill as his body still arched forwards towards me. My own breaths were raking my chest, confusion and loss and arousal and dejection were all flying around my body, I didn’t know what feeling to deal with first. I tried to slow my breathing so that I could at least look like I was in control, but what I really wanted to do was run over to Edward and surrender myself to him totally.

“Mackenzie,” he said in a hoarse voice. “I have to keep in control; I can never let myself go around you, not even for a second.”
“Its ok I understand, I’m sorry I don’t have the will or control that you do, you obviously find it easier to resist me than I do you. I’m sorry for being so selfish again Edward.”

I turned away, back to the bathroom mirror and as I did, like a spoilt petulant rejected child, I kicked the door closed.

‘I’m a total bitch!’

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